Crime

Marijuana: $1K reward in dispensary robbery by "dick mouth" who stole low-cost pipes, clones

The thief in the bear-mace stickup of a Boulder marijuana dispensary reportedly stole $9,000 worth of weed -- a far bigger haul than usual for crimes that typically net little cash or merchandise.

Case in point: This weekend's burglary at Craig Apothecary, whose pissed-off owner is offering a $1,000 reward for identifying the "dick mouth" who did it even though he got away with items worth a whole lot less.

The center's Facebook page features a video with surveillance footage of the crime, which took place at about 8:30 p.m. on Friday. Here's one image from the clip....

...and here's another. According to the text that accompanies the video, the suspect narrowly avoided capture by the police. Staffers encourage anyone with information about the scofflaw to come forward.

This message is echoed in a far more entertaining way by the following post on the Facebook page of owner Jessica Asplund. It reads:

I am offering a $1,000 CASH reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of this dick mouth.

Someone absolutely knows who did this, and Craig is a TINY town, so why not speak up and make some money.... Plus if you are friends with this jack hole, I hope you know your idiot friend isn't even smart enough to grab anything of value.

A few $20 pipes, a jug of CHEAP glass cleaner, and clones that were UNROOTED?

Bwahahaha! Seriously, if you are going to do something, make it worth the gaping prison B*Hole and felony charge.

The reward will go to anyone with information that leads to the arrest and conviction of said dick mouth/jack hole. Call or text it to 970-620-2008.

More from our Marijuana archive: "Marijuana: Boulder's Dandelion Dispensary reopens after bizarre bear-mace robbery."

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts