Nicholas Lorenzo's sentence a warning to guys thinking of beating meat behind a meat counter

Back in February, Nicholas Lorenzo was accused of stroking his meat while behind a meat counter at a Louisville Safeway. Today, he was reportedly sentenced to five years probation, 48 hours community service and a spot on the sex-offender registry -- hefty punishment for what was presumably only a few seconds of pleasure. That'll teach him not to keep his hands to himself when standing behind a glass case...
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts