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Other Questions the Rockies Might Have About the New Season

Other Questions the Rockies Might Have About the New Season
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Today, April 7, is the home opener for the Colorado Rockies, which means that downtown — and Coors Field — will be flooded with fans hungry for peanuts, Cracker Jack, and a season that goes down a little more smoothly than those in the recent past. Right now, only the venue for the Rockies is really a sure thing, as the team just signed a deal to stay at the facility on Blake. Everything else is an open question. Will the pitching staff step up? Will the infield jell in the same way it did back in 2007? Will Bud Black lead the team down a better road? All excellent questions — that even Rockies players themselves might have.

Then again, baseball is a slow, methodical game, which means that there’s a lot of downtime for the mind to (perhaps) wander. Here are some other questions Rockies players might be pondering.

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1. Can I withstand the beard pressure from Charlie Blackmon?

2. Are pro-ball players exempt from street sweeping tickets?

3. Are “alternative stats” a thing?

4. Is it enough that it’s the tenth anniversary of a winning season?

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5. Okay, so steroids are out. But what about bionic arms?

6. Do we still have to detail the Monforts' meat trucks in the off-season?

7. What’s in those Rockies Dogs, anyway?

8. Is it just me, or does “Bud Black” sound like a new strain of marijuana?

9. How many runs do we need to score just to get a tostada?

10. Does purple make me look fat?
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Teague Bohlen is a writer, novelist and professor at the University of Colorado Denver. His first novel, The Pull of the Earth, won the Colorado Book Award for Literary Fiction in 2007; his textbook The Snarktastic Guide to College Success came out in 2014. His new collection of flash fiction, Flatland, is available now.
Contact: Teague Bohlen