Other slogans for the Colorado Meth Project

Noticed any disturbing anti-meth billboards on your drive home lately?

The ads, brought to you by the Colorado Meth Project, began sprouting up alongside Denver roadways -- as well as on TV, radio, MySpace and in a few newspapers -- earlier this month. They're aimed at teenagers and feature gritty images and slogans such as, "No one thinks they'll try to tear off their own skin. Meth will change that."

"It's something we hope cuts through the clutter of a teen or young adult's daily existence," says Colorado Meth Project Executive Director Kent MacLennan. "It's as real as it gets. These are real people and their real stories."

But not Colorado people. The ads here are the same ones used by the arguably successful Montana Meth Project and a handful of other states. MacLennan says the goal is to eventually make ads featuring Colorado teenagers talking about how meth changed them for the worse.

Since we're helpful and hate meth as much as the next guy, we thought we'd offer some suggestions for the $4 million-a-year Colorado ad campaign.

No one thinks they'll get eaten by a whale. Meth will change that.

No one thinks they'll run into Chuck Norris at their neighborhood Starbucks. Meth will change that.

No one thinks the square root of 36 is 5. Meth will change that.

No one thinks Hammer pants will make a comeback. Meth will change that.

Oh, wait. I just Googled "Hammer pants" and found this. Meth? Is that you?

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