Public Transport Beats Reality TV

I love public transportation. Sure, it’s slow and sometimes it smells, but where else can you get where you’re going and enjoy the splendor of unfiltered humanity for under two bucks? It’s like the Jerry Springer Show on wheels! For example, here’s what I saw just today on my trip to work.
• A long-haired, heavy-metal-looking dude carrying a case of frozen bacon.
• A creepy, scruffy looking thirtyish guy leering at two teenaged girls and doggedly trying to chat them up, while one of them loudly and obviously ridiculed him to whomever she was speaking to on her cellphone.
• A fashionable young man with his pants hanging off his ass, exposing several inches of hot pink underwear.
• Two twenty-something guys discussing the various mutual friends who’d recently been arrested – one on a murder charge!

Then there was the other day, when some rather large woman with three kids was explaining in painstaking detail how her mother-in-law was trying to have them taken from her by telling Social Services that she’d been getting them high. But I still haven’t seen anything as cool as the guy smoking crack on the back of the Boulder Express that my buddy Geof told me about. At least, not yet. – Cory Casciato