Comment of the Day

Reader: Meth Is a Big Problem for a Lot of Single Denver Men

Some posts continue to generate conversation long after there original publication date.

That's definitely the case of a Comment of the Day from January in which a reader maintained that Denver men suck.

This reader offers a more nuanced opinion of the men he's encountered in Denver.

And he sees one reason why many of them are so scattered.

seerclearly writes:
I wonder if my experiences as a gay man who recently moved here are similar. What I've noticed is that Denver men seem to connect and disconnect randomly. I'll have some guy drooling over me and then he disappears for 3 months...6 months...two years and then comes back like nothing happened. And, a lot of them are narcissistic (focused only on themselves). Quite a few I've meet I'd have to classify as simply nutty: paranoid, ADD, Tourette's. Maybe it's all the Meth. There's a LOT of Meth. Which leads me to the great number of er... limp Johnsons. A lot of those too and all that it implies. But at least they look hot with their Lumbersexual outfits and beards. Oh yeah, and most strange of all, they all talk about all the sports they do but when you ask them to actually go do them with you, they have to do laundry or watch Walking Dead.

Being the thinking sort, I put my mind to figuring out why some of these things exist in Denver. Especially the connect/disconnect, and the Meth addiction with all of the behaviors that come from it. I think it's that Denver has a lot of imports from places where people were raised "kristchun": you know, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." I don't just mean just discipline, but emotional and physical abuse in the name of a strict religious upbringing. I keep meeting guys with the most awful, searing, horrific tales of their upbringing and even current relationship with their parents, who come from Nebraska, Kansas, Wyoming, rural Colorado, etc. These wounds turn into feelings in their adult lives they can't deal with, so they cover them with Meth and alcohol and maybe 420. And the connect/disconnect? I think it comes from the religious idea that there is one right person for each of us who is perfect, a form or earthly eternal salvation. So when these guys start dating, the moment they see something even slightly wrong in their mate, they bail. After all, they won't be getting eternal salvation there. After a while, they start seeing that the rest of the people they're dating aren't perfect either, so they come back for another try... until another imperfection is revealed, creating an inability to have true intimacy with anyone.

All that said, I've met a few - very few - of the most genuine, handsome, and kind farm-raised guys here for which I'm deeply grateful. I think that supports the idea that some of the posters have said which is that if you keep meeting losers, you have to try something different. Or at least keep trying :)

Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts. For more memorable takes, visit our Comment of the Day archive.
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts