Real Child Protective Services

Terrorism, street crime, liberals wanting to take our guns. What’s a parent to do? Raising kids is hard enough without having to worry about the horrors that modern life is waiting to inflict on them at every turn. For parents that really care, there’s Bulletproof Baby, a company that produces the ultimate in personal protection for the little ones. Don’t believe it? Just go the site and watch the incredible video footage of the bulletproof stroller in action. Perfect for parents planning that vacation to Gaza, Iraq or Detroit! No self-respecting parent should be without their toddler taser, infants’ “my first” gas mask or comprehensive baby insurance.

Okay, the site is a spoof to promote the movie Shoot 'Em UP, but it’s really well done and it took me a good five minutes of poking around to convince myself. When I realized that every single item they “sell” is out of stock, I was finally convinced. They do offer some real T-shirts, though. – Cory Casciato

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