As you might recall, the Democratic National Convention was in Denver last week, and police prepared for the event like they were readying for an invasion of Utah, loading up on high-tech video cameras, SWAT gear, pepper spray and lots of other super-cool shit. As you also might recall, they didn't get to use any of it, because the protesters who came to Denver couldn't even incite a decent riot. Their idea of Re-creating '68 seemed to be getting really stoned and not washing their hair. Which left everyone -- especially the cops -- quite bored.
One could only assume that St. Paul, host of the Republican National Convention, would have the identical experience, save for perhaps fewer gross abortion posters and busier airport-bathroom stalls. But no, those lucky bastards are getting to witness all sorts of cool mayhem (see video above) -- including some actual rage inspired by Rage Against the Machine. From City Pages, our sister paper in Minny:
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A peaceful concert on the capitol lawn took a turn when rumors started circulating that Rage Against the Machine would play. Supposed headliners Anti-Flag finished up their set and told the crowd: "Stay put: shit's gonna get crazy."
What proceeded can only be described as organized chaos. As fans chanted "Let them play" and "Our Capitol," Rage band members could be seen on the capitol steps arguing with state troopers. After about 15 minutes of chanting and arguing with police, the band walked around the perimeter of the stage and into the crowd.
Meanwhile, we piled 10,000 people into an enclosed space, let Rage tear it up inside while hundreds of cops gathered outside, and couldn't even get a little tear gas?
It's official: We hosted the wrong convention. -- Joe Tone