Dear Superbad-Watching Westword Reader,
Thank you for your letter to the editor, which arrived with our mail today. However, due to our letters policy we can only print letters that are no more than 200 words. This letter is worth at least 1,000 and will therefore have to be edited before we can run it in print. We would like to offer you the opportunity to edit the piece so we can run it. Maybe you could change the pennant to read "Cocktober," as everyone likes puns even if they are the lowest form of humor, next to dick jokes that is. Also, I think it would be neat if you could anthropomorphize the head of your main character to have googly eyes and a mustache, that would be totally rad. But as is, I am afraid we will not be able to run your letter in our November 1 issue. I look forward to your edited letter and, even if you feel like you would rather not edit your work, I would like to thank you for reading Westword and contributing.
-- Sean Cronin