But then The Cat's Pajamas heard something so chilling it jolted her out of her how-the-fuck-did-"I"-fail slump: culottes. Yes, culottes -- ku'lots, plural noun, women's trousers, usually knee-length or calf-length, cut full to resemble a skirt. Also, first sign of a fashion apocalypse -- have been spotted on the streets of Denver.
I beg you, Denver, do not do this to yourself. Do not bring a severe mocking upon our fair city. Because roundly mocked we will be if culottes suddenly start turning up in all the fashionable places. Cat hears they are big in France. That is France, people. They know how to be stylish with only a tube of toothpaste, a skein of yarn and two mismatched socks at their disposal. We are not the French (no judgment, just saying) and therefore should not attempt Advanced Wardrobing on our own. It's like Kate Moss: She can wear just a man's T-shirt and a pair of heels and still somehow look fully turned-out because she is Kate Moss. But if Cat tried it, she'd just look turned-out in the hooker sense. Bad all the way around.
Next week, Cat will return to her regularly scheduled programming.