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| Comics |

Sheila Jones is suburban superhero Captain Englewood: Kenny Be's Hip Tip

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Captain Englewood Real name: Sheila Jones; Occupation: Journalism Adviser; Suburb of operation: Englewood; Hair: Wash-n-wear; Eyes: Dotted

Suburban superhero skills: Captain Englewood represents the pinnacle of human intellectual perfection. While not superhuman, she is as smart as an Englewoodian can be. She is twice as smart as Englewood High School Principal Jon Fore...

Captain Englewood possesses greater writing skill than any reporter who has ever had a drink at the Denver Press Club. The Perfect-Pirateer Newspaper-writing method that she employs has enhanced Englewood High School English-learning functions to the peak of student efficiency. Notably, her journalistic vision lights the way during the dark days of school budget cuts, and grants her the ability to show the critical connection between communication and student success.

Captain Englewood engages in a daily regimen of rigorous teaching (including Honors College Prep and advanced English classes) to keep herself in peak condition. Her only weapon is a pen, which is (of course) mightier than any sword. The pen has great aerodynamic properties and is able to slice through superfluous prose with laser-sharp accuracy. It is also virtually indestructible and is resistant to bad grammar, punctuation extremes and the entire electromagnetic spectrum of digital technology.

For her adventurous swagger, Pirateer adviser Captain Englewood was presented with the Don Ridgway Freedom of Expression Award in 2000 and she was named the Colorado Publications Teacher of the year in 2001. In her spare time, the Captain battens down the hatches as the historian for the Colorado High School Press Association.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.