Skillet Head

Offense Report No: 07-0243491 Date: 04-16-07 Type of Offense: Third Degree Assault Location of Offense: Capitol Hill Weapon Used: Skillet

Officer Brown reports:

“Investigation showed that the suspect [a 23-year-old female] and the victim [a 52-year-old male] were in an argument and the suspect hit the victim with a cast-iron skillet in the right arm. The victim began to struggle with the suspect for the skillet and the suspect struck the victim on the left side of his head with the skillet and bit him on his left arm. The suspect [described as wearing a tan hoodie and having “bulging eyes”] fled the scene in an unknown direction.” – Jared Jacang Maher

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Joel Warner is a former staff writer for Westword and International Business Times. He's also written for WIRED, Men's Journal, Men's Health, Bloomberg Businessweek, Popular Science, Slate, Grantland and many other publications. He's co-author of the 2014 book The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny, published by Simon & Schuster.
Contact: Joel Warner