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Strain Gang Review: Grape Stomper at Green Solution

As a hard-hitting journalist, I’m always looking for breaking stories that are essential to the public interest. So when I saw that a Green Solution had replaced a failed McDonald’s at 3179 Peoria Court, next to Nine Mile Station in Aurora, I figured it was my duty to stop in.

There were at least a dozen strains available, but the budtender was pushing the on-sale stock; he recommended hybrids Grape Stomper (also known as Sour Grapes) and Mob Boss for a heady but comfortable high. The genetic orgy that birthed the Stomper — a mix of Purple Urkle, Hashplant, Headband and Sour Diesel — produced some sexy little foxtail buds. They seduced me enough to buy a half-eighth (1.7 grams) for a little over $27, a purchase that included one of those $3 childproof bags that I really need to start leaving in my car.

The word “White” should be placed before Grape Stomper for clarity, because its illuminating trichomes reminded me much more of chardonnay than Fanta. There were only faint hints of purple, but the green was electric, and subtle fruit smells permeated, as if wafting from an open bag of Big League Chew bubblegum.

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Volcano vaporizers are my personal favorite for tasting cannabis, so I decided to turn mine on to get the full flavor out of the Stomper’s understated aroma. The berries-and-cream aftertaste was pleasant, like its smell, but the bland hay flavor — common in pot plants grown by the thousands — was overpowering and made me question how long the crop had cured.

My head felt a strong sativa dominance. but still felt the indica presence. The stiffness in my lower back was gone, and stringing words together became difficult as I tried pretending to be cool on the phone with my mother. Fortunately, the comedown came and went gently, without any zombie effect. All-night gaming, studying and creative projects would be great with this strain if you’re solo. Human interaction — not so much. I wouldn’t recommend taking this to a party or smoking it before going out, but I’m looking forward to bingeing on some Netflix with the rest of my purchase after work tomorrow.

Strain Gang is our weekly critique of a cannabis strain at a recreational store. For MMJ reviews, go to westword.com/news. Have a suggestion for a strain review? Send it to marijuana@westword.com.

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