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Ten Types of Uber and Lyft Drivers You Meet in Denver

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Whether you're going to an event downtown and don't want to mess with parking or you've had six IPAs and need to be put to bed, Uber and Lyft are there for you. And in a growing city like Denver that's full of car-averse millennials, drivers are everywhere. To pay homage to these everyday heroes, we've compiled some of the common types of drivers you'll find around the metro.

1. The Stoner 
We're certainly not accusing drivers of partoking while driving (absurd!), but we wouldn't put it past a few to be doing what they're doing to support their weed habit.

2. The Newbie 
People are moving to Denver en masse, and learning a new city takes time. Don't be a jerk to this driver when he takes the long way or makes wrong turns. Instead, offer to help navigate and give him some good shortcuts. 

3. The Girl Avoiding Her Ex
Denver is an expensive place to rent, which makes for some interesting living situations. No one would fault you for still living with your ex because you guys just broke up and moving out and living on your own would be way too expensive. Props to the intrepid females who take up driving to avoid their exes at home.
4. The Enticing Mom
A stay-at-home mom from Thornton by day and savage hunter at night, she stalks the streets of Denver in her white Toyota Sienna Minivan looking for prey. She's slow AF and takes wide turns, but she'll get you another way: with a candy stash that would make Costco blush. 

5. The Saint
You've met him, but you probably don't remember him. After a long night of partying, you call him ten times because he's not exactly where you are, but then again, you have no idea where you are. You get in the car, and he politely asks if you've had a good night. You grunt and yell at him to play Katy Perry. He stops by a pizza place so you can inhale a slice, drops you off at home and doesn't even fuck with your rating after you trash his car. Bless you, sir. 

Continue reading for the ten types of Uber and Lyft drivers you'll find in Denver.
6. The Former/Current Taxi Driver
Being a taxi driver is a tough gig these days. But with so much competition, the smart cabbies have survived and thrived on an obvious loophole: be a taxi driver, a Lyft driver and an Uber driver. 

7. The Strong, Silent Type
Drivers have seen some shit. If yours just wants to sit silently, don't think he's rude. He probably just got harassed by some aggro drunks heading home from LoDo. 

8. The Chatterbox
Maybe you've had a bad day. Maybe you just don't like talking because you're a weirdo. Either way, sometimes nothing is worse than getting in an Uber and having to listen to a driver give you his life story. Just grin and raise your eyebrows every once in a while like you're surprised by something he's said. He won't get the hint, but at least he won't think you're dead. 

9. The Shy Dude With Six Phone Chargers
Car chargers might as well be currency these days. This dude knows he's shy, but at least he's still delivering the goods.
10. The Hottie
This is the girl who drops you off and turns into a story you tell your friends at the bar. In your version, you two hit it off and maybe she even winked at you before you got dropped off. In reality, you stared at her through her rear-view mirror and breathed heavily.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


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