5. Fill it with helium, have his kids suck the gas down, and then market them as "The New Chipmunks."
4. Create space-age dresses marketed under the slogan, "Cover Your Heene."
3. Show all those smart asses who dressed up as Balloon Boy last Halloween how to really rock a costume.
2. Bring it to future reality show auditions, to prove that he thinks big.
1. Leave Falcon alone with it and hope for the best. If at first you don't succeed...