4
| Tech |

Unfriending: These are exactly the type of Facebook updates that will get you booted

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

University of Colorado-Denver PhD student Christopher Sibona recently used science -- science! -- to figure out why people "unfriend" each other on Facebook.

One big reason? Frequent, unimportant posts -- which got us here at Westword thinking about the all-time worst Facebook status updates.

So we Googled it and found www.facebookstatus.org, which is home to some truly awful ones. In fact, it's hard to tell whether they're status updates or punchlines from the cartoon "Cathy."

To be clear, the website is not trying to be awful. As evidenced by its ultra-obvious name -- The Funny Facebook Status Update Website -- it's trying to be, well, funny.

But instead, it appears to be a repository for the groan-inducing "forwards" of yesteryear. It's like the folks behind this website raided your great aunt's old AOL outbox and handpicked her best Fwd: zingers. Now, they're peddling them as Facebook status updates for people who can't think of their own, or who (wrongly) believe that posting these one-liners is better than posting what they ate for breakfast. It isn't. I'd rather hear about your Kashi, and how it was stale, and how you hated it.

A sampling from the website:

Don't worry about what other people think. They don't do it very often.

Any woman can have the body of a 21 year old, as long as she buys him a few drinks.

I'm making myself sick worrying about my health.

Breaking news -- Energizer Bunny arrested & charged for battery.

Is it just me, or does hamstring sound delicious?

No, ma'am, it does not. Unfriend.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.