The chalk board shown above broadcasts Andrew's love for Kelly. Uncommon in most of Denver, the valentine greetings spread across Congress Park prove that it is the horniest and corniest neighborhood in Denver. Below, a new understanding of the word "congress"... The Ace of Hearts card pictured above actually lights up. The resident artist spent time and money to create a special oversize, front porch calling card that proclaims unconditional love is both given and received in this Congress Park home. Remember, "congress" can be defined as a legislative body or the act of coming together. Below, more of the sexual Congress Park fixation with the birds and bees... Porch decorating is a popular Valentine's Day activity in sexual Congress Park. The decorator of the porch pictured above has chosen an appropriate birds-and-bees theme and the predominant red color. A decorated house is the sign of a neighbor who will be participating in the annual ritual of handing out packets of condoms and Viagra to Valentine's Day trick-or-treaters. It's all for fun, but it's also very competitive, as shown below... Homes participating in Congress Park Valentine's Day activities spell the word "LOVE" out in stones at the entry to their porch. Visiting Valentine's Day trick-or-treaters who visit are encouraged to take a stone when leaving. When all the stones are gone, the home is said to have "gotten its rocks off" and the party is abruptly over.
More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "Winter-storm warning a relief to Denver snow sculptors: Kenny Be's Yard Arteology."
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Westword's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Denver's stories with no paywalls.