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Tender Mercies (1983)
Yes, some of the movies from the ’80s were actually pretty good — including this low-key heart-wrencher that earned Robert Duvall a well-deserved Oscar.
Ender's Game (2013)
From the sublime to the ridiculous. During the first twenty minutes of this failed franchise, I remember thinking, "This isn't as bad as I expected." During the rest of it, I learned that I was wrong.
Directed by Douglas Trumbull, who handled the special effects for 2001: A Space Odyssey. There's a reason you know about the latter and not about the former.
The Hangover Part III (2013)
In X-Men Apocalypse, in theaters now, Jean Grey notes that everyone knows the third movie in a series is always the worst one. That's definitely true in this case.
Should have been spelled "Dread."
Only God Forgives (2013)
God may have forgiven Ryan Gosling and director Nicolas Winding Refn for making a movie that's not nearly as good as their previous collaboration, Drive, but I'm still working on it.
Slapstick of Another Kind (1982)
Actually based on a novel by Kurt Vonnegut — whose head probably looked like Jerry Lewis's in the poster above right before exploding at the world premiere.
Triumphs of a Man Called Horse (1983)
Yes, kids, that's Richard Harris — the original Dumbledore — seen in profile behind the hottie with the body.
A Night in Heaven (1983)
The first of the posters on my wall at home is this tacky curio starring hunky Christopher Atkins, who'd previously spent time with Brooke Shields in a Blue Lagoon.
Also framed right now: a Christopher Reeve-starring disaster that was a must-have for me because of the poster copy: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have killed for my Country, I have stolen for my Church, I have loved a woman, and I am a Priest." Dun-dun-DUN!
An Unmarried Woman (1978)
Just for laughs, I also put up a poster from An Unmarried Woman, a movie that was actually good — or at least I thought so when I saw it almost forty years ago. Today, who knows?
The last walled poster (for now) was based on a song by future Ouray mayor C.W. McCall, directed by a slumming Sam Peckinpah and featured a shirtless Kris Kristofferson, for whom I mentioned my wife has an unhealthy fondness. I guess I'd better start working out more.