Crime

Photos: Weirdest Items Allegedly Stolen by Prolific Colorado Burglar

Tomasz Kellams is accused of snatching some mighty unusual items, including upside-down wine glasses transformed into Christmas snow globes — we think.
Tomasz Kellams is accused of snatching some mighty unusual items, including upside-down wine glasses transformed into Christmas snow globes — we think. coloradosprings.gov
Tomasz Kellams has been a busy boy...allegedly. The Colorado Springs Police Department arrested the 34-year-old for burglary after recovering so many suspected stolen goods that the agency has created an online photo gallery where potential victims can check to see if any of the stuff is theirs.

We have no doubt they'll want it back, since a lot of it is amazingly weird. As shown by the photos below, this may be one of the most bizarre hauls in recent Colorado criminal history.

According to the CSPD, detectives began investigating a burglary at a storage unit in the 4200 block of North Nevada Avenue last month. Along the way, they executed a search warrant at another storage unit, this one located on the 2000 block of King Street in Colorado Springs. There they found property stolen from the North Nevada site, as well as other objects reportedly swiped from different parts of the King Street facility. The execution of a second search warrant, this time for a residence on Garland Avenue, led to the discovery of more property considered stolen, including a firearm.

Some of the belongings not yet traced to specific victims clearly have resale value; there are a lot of tools, some big-screen televisions and an assortment of video games. But much of the rest looks like the kind of thing you'd only purchase at a thrift store if you'd been invited to a White Elephant party and it was half-price day.


The CSPD is encouraging owners of storage units in the Springs to visit their spaces to make sure they haven't been ransacked; if they have been, they can phone 719-444-7000 to make a report, then visit the web page to see if they recognize their possessions and, if they do, email Sergeant Owen Scott at [email protected] with the case number and contact information.

But you don't have to be the victim of a crime to enjoy this rogues' gallery. Here are our ten favorite items:

NUMBER 10:
click to enlarge A collection of Christmas ornaments, as well as two Avon product boxes that no doubt contain incredible treasures — or Avon products. - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
A collection of Christmas ornaments, as well as two Avon product boxes that no doubt contain incredible treasures — or Avon products.
NUMBER 9:
click to enlarge Beer logos, perfect for reminding you of when you used to be able to go to a bar. - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
Beer logos, perfect for reminding you of when you used to be able to go to a bar.
NUMBER 8:
click to enlarge Someone needs to set Santa and Frosty free. - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
Someone needs to set Santa and Frosty free.
NUMBER 7:
NUMBER 6:
click to enlarge Perfect for fans of baseballer Albert Pujols, who's always denied using performance-enhancing drugs, and Barry Bonds, who has, too, but a lot less convincingly. - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
Perfect for fans of baseballer Albert Pujols, who's always denied using performance-enhancing drugs, and Barry Bonds, who has, too, but a lot less convincingly.
NUMBER 5:
click to enlarge For those days when the fine china is in the dishwasher. - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
For those days when the fine china is in the dishwasher.
NUMBER 4:
click to enlarge Somebody's grandmother is going to be pissed about this! - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
Somebody's grandmother is going to be pissed about this!
NUMBER 3:
click to enlarge Is it a bat? A billy club? A rolling pin? Whatever it is, we want one. - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
Is it a bat? A billy club? A rolling pin? Whatever it is, we want one.
NUMBER 2:
click to enlarge Uluru is also known as Ayers Rock, one of Australia's most famous tourist attractions. This photo booklet is currently on sale on eBay for $7. Act now before it gets away! - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
Uluru is also known as Ayers Rock, one of Australia's most famous tourist attractions. This photo booklet is currently on sale on eBay for $7. Act now before it gets away!
NUMBER 1:
click to enlarge Yes, it's a Fat Bastard action figure from the Austin Powers movies! And since the version we found on eBay is going for $52.61, maybe stealing it does make sense. - COLORADOSPRINGS.GOV
Yes, it's a Fat Bastard action figure from the Austin Powers movies! And since the version we found on eBay is going for $52.61, maybe stealing it does make sense.
Want to see more? Click to view the entire collection in the CSPD gallery.
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts