There are plenty of ways to get unwanted attention from law enforcement.
But among the quickest is this: Forget to wear pants.
Most of us don't need to be taught this lesson once we've past the age of three. But apparently Wendy Butcher isn't most of us.
Nope, she's our latest Schmuck of the Week, as a result of a meth bust made after she was found letting more than usual hang out.
The incident took place around 10 p.m. on April 14 at 3210 I-70 Business Loop in Mesa County, not far from Grand Junction.
The area is captured in the following interactive graphic. If you have problems seeing the image, click "View on Google Maps."
According to the Mesa County Sheriff's Office, a deputy on routine patrol decided to check a car parked in the lot of a business that was closed.
In it, he found Butcher — although she apparently didn't use this moniker right away.
The MCSO says Butcher, 34, "identified herself multiple times with the wrong spelling of her supposed last name."
Her spelling difficulties weren't the first sign that something strange might be going on. Remember the whole no-pants thing?
The deputy's suspicions were further piqued when he looked around the car and located what are described as "multiple identifying documents with different names, social security numbers and more."
That's not all. He also eyeballed drug paraphernalia, along with approximately eighth ounces of meth.
As for why she was in the parking lot, Butcher claimed to have run out of gas after driving from Utah, where she "thought she had a warrant" in her name — or one of her name's, presumably. Her goal was to return to Arkansas, her home state.
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She didn't make it. Instead, she was booked into the Mesa County Detention Facility on suspicion of offenses related to the meth, the paraphernalia and the assorted documents. On top of that, she's suspected of having been driving despite having been denied a license. She's due in court on April 21.
Our advice for that appearance: Wear your pants.
Here's a larger look at Butcher's booking photo.