Schmuck of the Week

What Meth Made Gerald Kimble Do With a Chainsaw and Yoga Pants


Have you been thinking about trying meth?

If so, there probably isn't anything we can say to talk you out of it — and we doubt more photos of emaciated meth users with rotted teeth and cadaver-quality skin will do the trick, either.

But maybe, just maybe, the story of Gerald Kimble will give you pause, since it involves a chainsaw, a weed wacker, muddy footprints, a terrified child, a pissed-off mom, yoga pants and an impressive level of meth-fueled jackassery.

At about 1 p.m. on May 5, according to Fox21, Kimble, 49, broke into a home on the 100 block of North 12th Street in Colorado Springs — and he wasn't exactly looking his best. He was reportedly covered with mud.


Inside, Kimble soon encountered a five-year-old boy, who was laying on a couch.

What to do? Shout at him, of course — which is what the Colorado Springs Gazette's account says Kimble did.

Presumably, the noise alerted the child's mom, who quickly dragged Kimble outside.

But Kimble wasn't done. He grabbed the family's weed wacker and chainsaw and proceeded to break into three more homes.


Kimble is said to have used the tools to startle residents in at least two of the other residences he entered. In addition, he also went shopping in a closet along the way, emerging clad in a T-shirt, a sweater and a pair of yoga pants.

It didn't take members of the Colorado Springs Police Department long to find Kimble, since he was leaving muddy footprints every step of the way.

But he wasn't done making trouble. After being transported to a local hospital, a police report cited by the Gazette reveals that Kimble "picked up a chair and twice hit a Colorado Springs police officer in the head with it."

What inspired all this behavior? Well, Kimble is quoted as telling a nurse he'd used meth the day before.

Surprise, surprise.

This week, Kimble pleaded guilty to four counts of second-degree burglary in association with his spree, which provides us with an opportunity to share his booking photos — a pair of shots that show him looking a lot older, rougher and thinner than the 2013 Facebook images seen above.

The meth weight-loss method at work again. Here are Kimble's mugs.


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