Meanwhile, on tonight's episode of Two and a Half Men, Charlie's character, cleverly named "Charlie," is supposed to go meet his girlfriend Chelsea's bigoted parents, but chooses to undergo a colonoscopy instead.
Note to judge: If Sheen calls late Tuesday night saying he can't come to Colorado because of a previously scheduled anal probe, don't believe it for a second.
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.