Where There's Smoke, There's Ire

Audio By Carbonatix

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Ah, MySpace, thou art a foul temptress. It's amazing how the social networking website is treated by so many young adults as some sort of secret journal where they can spill their most outlandish desires and drug-addled exploits. It's a virtual candyland for perverts and journalists alike. Nowhere else can you find such a rich smorgasbord of personal information presented openly to the world like — well, like a smorgasbord. And no MySpace page is more gluttonous than that of Rob Smoke, who proclaims in his profile heading "I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm horny, I'm stoned...and I'm a city official."

The fifty-year-old chairman of the Human Relations Commission for the City of Boulder (pictured with his fellow commissioners; he's second from left) has been getting heat for MySpace postings discussings details of his job. "Last year I adjudicated a discrimination case where the complainant was a man not allowed to join a woman's water aerobics class --- a huge deal; believe me," he writes in one. He also adjudicates with such proclamations as "my woody is chafing," and offers musings about smoking "the all-purpose herb." And among his fifty friends are scandalously clad young women with names like Trinity and "Sexyvmonica."

The Boulder City Council is looking into censuring Smoke and possibly even tossing him from his position. But that would be a shame. After all, who better to head a commission on human relations than a man who goes by the tag "monkeyjuice2000"? — Jared Jacang Maher