Audio By Carbonatix
Dear Readers: A couple of weeks ago, I asked half-breeds to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in; gracias for the submissions. The following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentary — enjoy!
If you’re half-Mexican and…
Half-African: Afrijoles
Half-black: Black Beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican
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Half-Arab: Garbanzo Beaner (America’s worst nightmare)
Half-Canadian: Canexican
Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, Rice-n-Beans
Half-Cornish: Cornish Tortilla
Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)
Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex
Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian
Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino
Half-Flemish: Fletino
Half-French: Frenchican
Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, White Bean
Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, Wiener Beaner
Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)
Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)
Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple Salsa
Half-Honky: Chichonky
Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry Tamale
Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole
Half-Irish: Leprecano, Green Bean, McBeaner
Half-Italian: Mexican Pizza, Spic-talian
Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese
Half-Jewish: Jalapeño Bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit-nectar drink), Kahlúa-jewa, Kosher Burrito, Mexi-Jew
Half-Korean: Korexican
Half-Pakistani: Mexistani
Half-Panamanian: Panamex
Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)
Half-Portuguese: Pork-n-Beans
Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck
Half-Russian: Brown Russian
Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican
Half-Samoan: Samexican
Half-Scotch: McRiguez
Half-Turk: Turxican
Other Latinos also joined the game: A half-Spanish, half-American called himself “Spam,” a Cuban Jew goes by “Jewban,” while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a “Minneruvian.” Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is “anus” in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with this moniker: Gandhistein.
But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho: How about American, like all of us mutts?
