Cafe Society

Alert! Dean Ornish reveals that eating will make you fat

Dean Ornish M.D. -- founder and president of the non-profit Preventive Medicine Research Institute and a clinical professor of medicine at the University of California at San Francisco -- has a few thoughts about how to keep off the weight.

Let's find out what's up white, medical coat sleeve.

Dr. Ornish believes a slow and steady weight loss wins the race -- but doesn't he know that the quicker the calories go, the better the sex life? He did agree that eating more proteins will make you lose weight quicker, but you get it all back in the end.

Hey, that does sound like my love life.

A real reason that people have a hard time keeping off weight, he says, is that emotional stress is a very powerful adversary, one that can only be conquered with comfort foods. Now, for years we have all heard that comfort food is the enemy of all dieters. I tastefully disagree, because without comfort foods, this population would have an obesity epidemic. Oh wait, we do.

Rule of thumb: Eat good carbs, like fruits, vegetables and whole grains that will help regulate your blood sugar without letting it get too high or too low. What about bad carbs? Bad carbs cause your blood sugar to rise rapidly and your pancreas to secrete insulin to make up for it. It's almost like being with a paid escort: You know what you're doing is wrong, but it feels so right.

A reasonable rate of weight loss is about three pounds per week, Ornish says, but if you want to lose weight faster, remember to exercise more and eat less. Even walking a mile is better than not doing anything at all.

A great destination would be to the local "massage parlor," so you can get all your kinks worked out after working out. Now that would be a happy ending to the day.

Thanks, doc.

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