4

Milking It: Eggo Maple Syrup Cereal

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Eggo Maple Syrup Cereal Kellogg's Rating: Two and a half spoons out of four

Cereal description: Puffy wheat, corn and oat platters, light yellow in color, with a series of holes punched through them. The result suggests manhole covers with a thyroid condition.

Box description: The red Eggo logo, familiar from a generation of toaster waffles, hovers over a yellow background, with a white star of brightness directly behind it, as if it sits at the right hand of the Father when not nourishing breakfasters. Beneath it runs what looks like a maple-syrup expressway that boasts of being "Naturally & Artificially Flavored." It's like tapping a synthetic tree! Six giant cereal bits, stuck together by thick advertising milk, occupy the lower left-hand corner; opposite it, on my box, is in offer for an Adidas "Sports Tee" available for free ("by mail with 8 tokens"). The details are on the back -- beyond side panels touting nutrition information and "Fuel Up for Action" text that includes "The Adidas Zig Zag Drill" -- and I must admit, the shirts themselves are mighty sweet. I'm not so taken by the generic model, which is white and sports a stylized blue stripe. Better by far are ones emblazoned with the images of Snap, Crackle and Pop and, especially, Toucan Sam holding a giant basketball in one elongated wing. He doesn't just believe he can fly; he actually can! Suck it, Michael Jordan.

Taste: As we all know, aroma is an important part of taste. And in this case, the maple syrup scent is positively overwhelming. Even after the box has been open for a while, it's so strong that it makes me flinch, leaving my eyes with the sort of burning sensation I feel after working on the computer for too long without a break. Luckily, the cereal's flavor isn't quite that strong. Otherwise, it'd be like chugging a jug of syrup straight from the tap. But as a result, the experience of actually chewing on the stuff isn't that distinctive. The texture is good, retaining its crunch long after being doused. But the eating as a whole delivers little pleasure, turning Eggo Maple Syrup into a purely utilitarian munch. And I want more from a cereal than to simply feel full afterward.

Conclusion: I'll leggo of my own Eggo, thank you very much. -- Michael Roberts

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.