Dear Mexican: I’m white, and Donald Trump scares the crap out of me. Mexicans must be shaking in their boots.
Dear Gabacho: Donald Trump is the best thing to happen to Mexicans since the bacon-wrapped hot dog. Oh, his rhetoric is straight out of The Turner Diaries, and Trump’s fans make slack-jawed yokels seem as cultured as Aristophanes. But the piñata pendejo is exactly what Mexicans need: a kick in the nalgas to wake us up and get us ready for the 2016 elections. Mexicans vote best when the raza is threatened, and given that Trump is vowing to deport eleven million undocumented folks and their anchor babies (otherwise known as “American citizens” by the Constitution), we’re going to make sure that neither he nor anyone copying his ideas gets into the Oval Office. And if they do? We’ll have a double revolution, in Mexico and the U.S., and boot the bastards out, ¿qué no?
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Dear Mexican: Can you tell me what it means when someone is called jarocho? I know it’s a traditional Mexican style of music — son jarocho — but in what other ways is it used?
Dear Gabacho: A quick description for your fellow gabas: Son jaracho is a style of music from the state of Veracruz that involves quickly strummed tiny guitars called jaranas, a distinctive lead guitar called a requinto, and other instruments that can range from a harp to a donkey’s jawbone to a drum. Together they create a beautiful genre (“La Bamba” is its most famous song) that, while known in Mexico, is an obsession of Chicano yaktivists; they arrange academic conferences around all-night parties, lionizing its supposedly proletarian spirit while relegating other, more popular Mexican regional music forms like tamborazo and chilenas to quinceañeras in Montebello. It’s no sorpresa, then, that jarocho also refers to someone from Veracruz. But this is where the etymology gets fun: The Real Academia Española defines a jarocho as someone “of brusque manners, not courteous, and something insolent” and traces its roots to the word farota, which means “shameless woman” (and that word comes from a classical Arabic term referring to the act of getting angry). In other words, jarocho is a word originally used as an insult but reappropriated by veracruzanos as a point of pride. Such linguistic tactics are popular around Mexico; words like chilango (someone from Mexico City) and paisa (a hillbilly) are other such intended regional slurs. Just shows that Mexicans can make beauty out of shit at all times, which would explain the continued popularity of Maná.