Shmucks of the Week: Dads
"First you sing in public, Dad, and now this? Ugh."
Dads are always doing embarrassing shit. That's just a rule.
With my dad, it was usually his clothes, which were always about a decade off and a few shades too bright. But sometimes he inflicted his lack of style and grace on me, by sending me to school with my lunch in a giant grocery bag. I guess I should have been happy he made me a lunch in the first place. But when you're ten, the method of delivery matters, and giant paper bags just don't cut it.
But -- God love him -- my dad never broke into my babysitter's house with a bandanna on his face ready to beat some ass. Now that would have really sucked.
And that's exactly what Raul Gaucin-Valenzuela stands accused of doing.
As reported by Michael Roberts this week, Gaucin-Valenzuela and a friend showed up at a house in Evans recently, intent on kicking the ass of an unsuspecting gentleman. What our perp somehow didn't know was that his kids were being watched by the woman of the house. And despite the bandanna covering his face, his kids -- perceptive little tykes -- instantly recognized him.
The ensuing Daaaaaaaaaad! could no doubt be heard for miles.
It's the sort of thing moms -- instinctively in tune with what is and isn't acceptable behavior in the presence of their kids -- just don't do. And it's the sort of thing that earns a dad the title of Shmuck of the Week.
Meet more shmucks in our Shmuck of the Week archive.
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