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Ardor in the court: “Choose Your Attorneys Carefully,” urges the announcement placed by Purvis Gray Schuetze & Gordon in the new Yellow Pages. And apparently your proofreaders, too, since the ad goes on to note that the “firm includes layers listed in the Best Layers in America.”
But not Andre Rudolph, an attorney with the Colorado State Public Defender’s office who recently showed up on Jenny Jones. Dubbed “White Collar Hunks” (though Rudolph swears Jenny Jones’s producer said they’d be called “something respectable, like `bachelors'”), the segment featured an increasingly endangered species: single guys with good jobs. Rudolph, who’d previously been featured in a book of bachelors, argued his case for inclusion with a video showing him in front of the Denver City & County Building (where he frequently appears in court, as a PD assigned to Denver juveniles), as well as lifting weights and jogging at Washington Park (he got about two feet, he says, before he turned off the camera and his “old football knees” gave out). But that was enough to earn Rudolph a free trip to Chicago, where he taped the show last April. On it, he displayed a previously unexplored “talent”–he gave a staffer a hand massage after the producer declined to let him read poetry–and revealed that his sexiest assets were his “curly eyelashes.”
The show’s aired several times since then, as recently as last week. And on Monday, when Rudolph happened to wear the same suit to court that he’d worn for Jenny, a Denver sheriff’s deputy had no trouble picking him out of the legal lineup. Rudolph’s young clients often recognize him, too, but he has a special strategy for dealing with those juvenile fans. Since the show airs at noon and midnight in Denver, “I ask them, what time did you watch it?”
Either way, they’re busted.
Elementary, dear Watson: Denver journalism got a lot more colorful Monday, when Rocky Mountain News editorial-page editor Vince Carroll almost got in the last word on Clarke Watson. In December, you may recall, Mayor Wellington Webb withdrew Watson’s name as a nominee for the Community Corrections Board after councilmembers and media types complained it was an inappropriate spot for a man who’d once held up the Denver Zoo. Then, late last week, Webb pulled Watson from his slot on another city committee. In an editorial titled “The Mayor Bounces a Bigot,” Carroll noted that after his nomination was scotched, Watson wrote a column for the Body of Christ News–published by the Black Ministerial Alliance–arguing that two of his most “vitriolic opponents” had been Jewish.
Carroll confined himself to characterizing the rest of Watson’s “anti-Semitic screed” as “distasteful.” But in the process, the finicky Carroll left out the tastiest part. After opining that Denver city councilwomen Joyce Foster and Susan Barnes-Gelt “appear not bright enough to see the hypocrisy of Jews supporting everyone else’s oppression but their own,” Watson had added that they’d been “eagerly assisted” by both Carroll and the Denver Post’s Chuck Green, who “share one thing in common: they’re both inadequate, fawning White men with miserable lives.” Green, Watson said, is “little more than a common drunk.” And Carroll? “An intellectual eunuch,” Watson pronounced, who “has risen as far as he will ever rise in the newspaper business. His turgid piety is so predictable that after reading just a few of his columns one realizes if you were to give Carroll a penny for his thoughts you’d receive change.”
On radio Monday, Watson challenged Carroll to print his piece verbatim. Don’t hold your breath.