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The first Bro Show – billed as “everything a man needs, all in one place” – filled the Denver Mart with classic cars, mixed-martial-arts contests, beer pong, guns, food, women in tight T-shirts, and beer, lots of beer, over this past weekend. But amid all this manly merchandise, one thing was definitely in short supply: hipsters.
Although hipsters appreciate irony, they could get a heaping helping of that just by donning a flannel shirt and stopping in at the nearest sports bar to suck down a PBR or two, completely incognito.
Here, for those who missed the Bro Show, is our handy guide to distinguishing bros from hipsters.
Hipster: Mustache year-round Bro: Mustache during Movember Hipster: Mountain-man beard Bro: Goatee Hipster: Ironic tattoo Bro: Tattoo Hipster: Skinny jeans and hand-screened art T-shirts Bro: Cargo shorts and sports T-shirts Hipster: Converse Bro: Flip-flops year-round Hipster: Baseball cap with mesh trucker patch Bro: Any baseball cap Hipster: First beer is oak-aged wild ale with hibiscus and blood orange Bro: First beer is Miller High Life
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Hipster: Beer of choice after first round is Miller High Life Bro: Beer of choice after first round is Miller High Life Hipster: Bars with no windows Bro: Rooftop patios Hipster: French press Bro: 7-Eleven coffee Hipster: Grass-fed bison Bro: Greasy burger Hipster: Rocky Mountain Moonshine from Two Guns Distillery Bro: Jack Daniel’s Hipster: Colorado Rockies Bro: Broncos Both: Nuggets Hipster: Baker Bro: Ballpark
Hipster: Lucky Peach Bro: Sports Illustrated Hipster: Fixie Bro: Cruiser Hipster: Car2Go Bro: SUV Both: Subaru Hipster: Walks cat Bro: Walks dog Hipster: Gardens Bro: Does yard work Hipster: House show Bro: Raging concert