Snakes Alive

Apparently, St. Patrick isn’t the guy who invented green beer. (I’m as shocked as you are.) Honestly, the beer thing is way more interesting than just driving some serpents out of Ireland. Hell, one time I chased a garden snake out of my yard with a hoe, and I don’t have a day named after me.

Anyway, I guess we learn something new every day — and if you’re not knee-deep in green-tongued festivities, then you should grab your kids and head to the Denver Zoo, 2300 Steele Street, today and tomorrow for the Serpent Festival, a fun-filled day of slithery, scaly learning. Highlights include performances by the Bennett School of Irish Dance at noon and 2 p.m., guided tours through the Tropical Discovery exhibit every hour from noon to 3 p.m., and “interpretive stations” where you can learn factoids such as what snakes eat and how they move. Tickets are included in the price of zoo admission; for more information, slither over to www.denverzoo.org or call 303-376-4800.

March 17-18, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.