Our Favorite Seinfeld Moments Ahead of Jerry Seinfeld's Denver Performance

When Jerry Seinfeld asked Elaine Benes, "Is this about me?" and she answered "No," he famously replied, "Then I've lost interest." (Cue laugh track.)

Luckily for Jerry, he'll get all the attention and then some when he brings his standup to Bellco Theatre for two performances on Saturday, October 14. His comedy is timeless, and Seinfeld, the seminal "sitcom about nothing" that he and Larry David created, has kept the nation laughing since it first aired in 1989. Even when the long-running show ended in 1998 (and we all know how audiences felt about that finale), its popularity lived on.

While it's impossible to pick an all-time best episode of the series, here are ten Westword staff favorites, arranged by air dates:
"The Pen"
Season 3, Episode 3
This is the only episode without George Costanza (who is based on Larry David, by the way), but it includes appearances by other fan favorites, such as Uncle Leo. Elaine and Jerry go to Florida to visit his parents, Morty and Helen, and encounter Morty's arch-nemesis, Jack Klompus, who has a pen that Jerry compliments. Klompus insists he take the pen, which ignites a string of dramatic events made more troublesome by the fact that Jerry's parents won't turn on the air conditioner. But the high point comes when Elaine, on a major dose of muscle relaxers, meets Jerry's Aunt Stella and cannot stop saying her name à la Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire.
"The Library"
Season 3, Episode 5
Overzealous "library cop" Lieutenant Bookman (played by Philip Baker Hall) is taking the case of Jerry's fine for an overdue book seriously in this episode, which is filled with memorable quotes. Jerry blames George for not returning the book back when they were in high school, which reminds George of how his P.E. teacher gave him a wedgie. George's report got the teacher fired, which he realizes when he sees that the teacher is now a homeless man outside the library. Kramer, meanwhile, is flirting with a librarian, while Elaine struggles with her job. But it's Bookman and his intense speeches that make the episode unforgettably hilarious.
"The Contest"
Season 4, Episode 11
Larry David won an Emmy for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series for "The Contest," and it's easy to see why. Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer have a contest to see who can go the longest without masturbating (an effort referred to as "the master of my domain"). The reason for the bet: George's mom caught him masturbating over Glamour magazine, and her response landed her in a hospital. The whole episode is filled with misadventures that include a Kennedy and a virgin, and was ranked by TV Guide at the top of a list of the 100 Greatest Episodes of All Time. Seriously, just try to get through George's sponge bath scene without cracking up.
"The Raincoats"
Season 5, Episodes 18 and 19
In this two-part adventure, Newman catches Jerry and his girlfriend making out during a screening of Schindler's List, George fakes a trip to Paris to get out of the Big Brother program, George's parents and Jerry's parents fight, and Elaine is dealing with both her boyfriend's love for Jerry's parents and the fact that he's a "close talker." The two-part episode was nominated for an Emmy for Judge Reinhold's phenomenal performance as Elaine's idiosyncratic boyfriend.
"The Puffy Shirt"
Season 5, Episode 2
Elaine, Jerry and George can't understand the soft-spoken fashion designer named Leslie whom Kramer is dating, and Jerry discovers that he accidentally agreed to model one of her signature puffy shirts — "like the pirates used to wear," Kramer says — on live TV. Meanwhile, George begins a foray into hand modeling, protecting his money-makers with oven mitts. But after he gives his opinions on Leslie's puffy shirts, she pushes him into an iron, ending his new career.
"The Soup Nazi"
Season 7, Episode 6
"No soup for you!!" Even if someone somehow hasn't seen Seinfeld, they've likely heard this quote. Jerry introduces Elaine, Kramer and George to one of the best soup spots in New York, which has a very eccentric chef, Yev Kassem (played by Larry Thomas). When George gets no bread with his soup and complains, Kassem snatches the bowl back while belting his signature line. But the soup is so good, Jerry even breaks up with his girlfriend because their kissing annoyed Kassem. While Kramer establishes a relationship with the Soup Nazi, Elaine is less lucky (although she gets hers in the end). This episode is a must-watch.
"The Bubble Boy"
Season 7, Episode 4
On a trip to a cabin upstate, Jerry gets a request to visit a big fan, who happens to be a boy named Donald who lives in a sterile plastic bubble. While George and his girlfriend wait for Jerry at Donald's house, a miscommunication over the words "Moors" and "Moops" ends with Donald attacking George and George's girlfriend popping the bubble. And, of course, there's Kramer, who accidentally becomes an arsonist at the end of the episode.
"The Bizarro Jerry"
Season 8, Episode 3
Throughout the series, Jerry always seems to find something he doesn't like about the girl he's dating. In this episode, poor Gillian has the flaw of "man hands" (each shot of her hands actually shows a crew member's). Meanwhile, Elaine has just broken up with her boyfriend Kevin, whom she stays friends with and calls "Bizarro Jerry," as he is the opposite of Jerry in the best ways. She ends up making other friends similar to George and Kramer, too. The episode ends with a hilarious reference to the Bizarro Superman movie.
"The Little Kicks"
Season 8, Episode 4
Elaine literally kicks off her office party with her infamous dance moves, which George describes as a "full body dry heave set to music." Meanwhile, Jerry brings Kramer and Kramer's friend Brody to a sneak preview of a movie, which Brody starts filming for bootleg sales, and Jerry inadvertently gets involved in the business. George wants in, too, but winds up getting arrested. The episode ends with a physical brawl between Elaine and Frank Costanza.
"The Strike"
Season 9, Episode 10
Better known as the Festivus episode, "The Strike" introduced the world to Frank Costanza's own holiday tradition — the airing of grievances — on December 18, 1997. But there's more, of course. Jerry is dating a woman who sometimes appears to be attractive and other times hideous; Elaine gave a fake phone number to a man on a sandwich rewards card that she's desperate to get back so that she can get her free sandwich; Cosmo Kramer pickets the bagel store he's working at because he can't get time off for Festivus; and, best of all, George Costanza tries to get out of gifting presents by saying he donated to a fake charity, the Human Fund, in his co-workers' names. Americans have been celebrating their own Festivus ever since: All you need is an aluminum pole.

Jerry Seinfeld performs at 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Saturday, October 14, Bellco Theatre, 1100 Stout Street. Tickets are $90-$615.