Marijuana

Getting stoned with comedian Chris Charpentier

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Would you rather have hair for fingernails, or fingernails for hair?

[Long pause]

Boy, that's a tough one. I think I'm going to have to go with hair for fingernails. That would be a cooler oddity and not so much of a freak show. People wouldn't notice from far away. True, but you'd have a hard time appearing masculine with those long, feathery tassels hanging from the tips of your fingers.

Well, how long do they have to be? I'd probably keep it real short, like a crew-cut. High and tight. That's manly.

Who do you think would win in a fight between Charles Bukowski and the Big Lebowski?

Well...the Big Lebowski, like, the one in the wheelchair?

Well, to make it a fair fight, lets say it's Bukowski when he had tuberculosis and lost all that weight.

I'm going to go with TB Bukowski.The Big Lebowski was kind of a puss; all he did was yell a lot.

But he's got a motor on that wheelchair. If he got some momentum, he could do some damage.

If he got a head of steam on him, sure. I wouldn't want to stand in front of him. But you could just step to the side, punch him in the face. Even with tuberculosis. Right? What do you think?

Well, there are different schools of thought on this. I tend to remain in the middle, not be partisan....

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Josiah M. Hesse
Contact: Josiah M. Hesse