The Funniest Marquee Signs in Denver

Talk about a sign of the times! Like modern poets, some marquee writers are masters of minimalism, capturing our culture in a few giant, black block letters. Others create the equivalent of urban fortune cookies that we must crack. No matter the motivation, we always enjoy stumbling on clever marquee signs around town; here are seven of our favorites.

7. Colorado Land
887 South Broadway

These guys are crushing it, practicing their stand-up routine via a gigantic marquee located right off I-25 at Broadway. The auto parts store has no shortage of hilarious ideas for both sides of marquee, which is constantly changing. Our favorite combo was the bald manager, backed by the pumpkin spice comment.6. The Wine Seller
600 East Sixth Avenue
This liquor store on Sixth Avenue deserves serious props for its topical messages, including the current "Keep on Brockin in the free world," currently. Our favorite last year: "Don't drink and drive, leave it to Bieber."
5. Cheeba Hut 
638 East Colfax Avenue

The Cheeba Hut on Colfax loves plenty of jokes, including a spoof of the Natural Grocers sign's claims to all-natural, drug-free poultry that stated: "Our chickens do drugs." More often the sign is a weed pun — and they're all hilarious.
4. The Hornet
76 Broadway

This mainstay on Broadway just celebrated its twentieth anniversary, and it's kept its sign current through two decades. At the moment, the message is a thank-you note to the community, but we're rooting for the holiday nice/naughty note from last year to return. 3. Celebration Event Center
100 Santa Fe Drive

This event center and rental space has one of the most emotional marquee signs in the city, and often gives northbound traffic on Santa Fe some intelligent existentialism to mull over. Other messages seem more personal, like "I can't stop loving you." Take a picture of this marquee the next time you pass it, and you'll have a 70 percent chance of becoming Tumblr famous. 
2. Huckleberry Roasters
2500 Larimer Street

No, there isn't a petting zoo of llamas inside this Huckleberry Roasters — but don't you wish there were? Look for more kitschy marquee messages at the original Huckleberry at 4301 Pecos Street. 1. KFC and Long John Silver's
3801 Federal Boulevard

This combo KFC/Long John Silver's in northwest Denver has pretty much given up: The sign has read "clams" for over a year. But while that single word might be a surrender to a heavy workload, it also sticks in the minds of everyone who sees it. Nothing sounds more delicious than seafood in the heart of a landlocked city. Maybe if more people stopped by for a snack, the owners would be able to afford more letters and change the sign.
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Lindsey Bartlett is a writer, photographer, artist, Denver native and weed-snob. Her work has been published in Vanity Fair, High Times and Leafly, to name a few.
Contact: Lindsey Bartlett