Women not having orgasms is a global crisis. That's why body-positive sex-toy company Vibrant is hosting Orgasm Day on March 20 at Cultivated Synergy in
“We celebrate all women — heterosexual, lesbian, or transgender — and their right to long, strong and frequent orgasms,” says Vibrant founder Angela Wells. “[We] want to empower women to be comfortable asking for what they desire and making pleasure a priority in the bedroom.”
Wells says the goal of the event is to teach attendees something new about their bodies that can help them have fun with sex. Plus, proceeds will support Planned Parenthood, so it’s a win-win. The first twenty attendees receive a free vibrator, but even if you’re not one of the lucky early-bird winners, there will be plenty of other fun things to do. There will be a workshop followed by an event by BedPost Confessions, where storytellers share their personal stories about their sexual experiences.
Laura Deitsch, Vibrant's resident sexologist and a licensed clinical sex therapist, will lead the workshop. Deitsch notes that there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding Os, and the orgasm gap between men and women proves that.
Deitsch says the biggest misconception about the female orgasm, when it comes to male and female relationships, is that it’s supposed to happen through penetrative sex. She says that one reason this misconception exists is because the media almost always portrays women having an orgasm during penetrative sex. Another reason for the misconception is that because men typically climax during penetrative sex, they think women should as well. The reality is, the clit cannot be ignored!
“Every woman is different, but statistically, more women would have an orgasm in concert with clitoral stimulation or nipple, anal, toy or cerebral play," Deitsch notes.
Deitsch says historically, women have not been encouraged to use sex for pleasure or be expressive about it.
But one thing we can do to close the orgasm gap is to look at other types of relationships. Deitsch says that lesbians report more orgasms than straight women.
“They figured out the orgasm gap, and that’s not rocket science,” she says.
There are other things women can do to start having orgasms, and Deitsch says the first step to a great orgasm is “giving yourself permission to enjoy sex, giving yourself permission to enjoy pleasure.”
She says that 70 to 75 percent of people who seek out sex therapy just need to give themselves permission. She encourages her patients to masturbate as a way to figure out what it is they like and how they can communicate that to their partners. And if her patients don’t feel comfortable
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“It’s important to let go of preconceived notions that an orgasm is supposed to happen at a certain time,” she says. “The goal of having sex is to have fun.”
And tips for men?
“Listen and ask for directions. Be patient and don't make your orgasm the goal,” she says.
Vibrant’s Orgasm Day, 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 20, Cultivated Synergy, 2901 Walnut Street, bevibrant.com.