Perhaps the only real benefits of attending an uptight bastion of screaming white assholes like Graland Country Day School — outside of the gaggle of MILFs who assembled at the gate every day, MILFs who would rather let you and their children play with automatic weapons than properly monitor you…
THURS, 12/30 A good friend of mine living in New York City opted to join the YMCA instead of a real gym. He didn’t have the money, he explained. Besides, why be so uppity that you can’t work out with the common man? So when I went to visit him,…
Leave it to those rock stars at National Public Radio to show us how to throw down on New Year’s Eve. This year, NPR will celebrate not only the arrival of 2005, but also the 25th anniversary of its Toast of a Nation show. Friday night’s twelve-hour program of jazz,…
The phrase “Suburban Empire” conjures a wealth of ideas: It could be the title of a spectacularly sick and twisted violent video game making its way to shelves this Christmas, or it could be the name of the last film George Lucas is allowed to pitch before he gets checked…
People collect the oddest things: photographs of WWII bombings of Papua New Guinea, salt shakers, monk figurines. Despite the time, effort and money involved in acquiring such collections, however, they’re usually doomed to mantelpieces and basement shelves, never to be seen by anyone but an eccentric grandmother or a nosy…
Who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver and waited in vain, who watched over Denver and brooded and loned in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, and now Denver is lonesome for her heroes. When Allen Ginsberg penned those words…
FRI, 12/17 Most people are only familiar with the work of Greg Brown because of the impact it’s had on a wide variety of more mainstream artists. Carlos Santana and Willie Nelson, for example, scored a hit when they teamed up to cover Brown’s “They All Went to Mexico” in…
THURS, 12/16 If I had an alter ego, she would be sporty. Very sporty. Extreme-sports sporty. I’d snowboard (very sporty for a Colorado native who’s never hit a slope). I’d parasail. I’d skydive. Hell, I’d be able to just play a game of softball without shrieking like a schoolgirl whenever…
There’s a scene in Mean Girls where Lindsay Lohan’s character lip-syncs at a talent show with her beslutted Plastics. The music suddenly cuts out and Lohan begins singing, promptly saving the day. Unfortunately, Speak, Lohan’s new disc, features no such triumphant moment. Because while deft screenwriting augmented Lohan’s natural charm…
You know what police officers are really good at? Shooting minorities. It’s uncanny. And nobody does it better than the Denver Police Department. Sure, the cops in New York City shot at Amadou Diallo 41 times when he reached for what turned out to be his wallet, killing the poor…
SAT, 12/11 John B. Weller’s love affair began on an innocent date. Four years ago, the Boulder resident returned to the Great Sand Dunes National Park for the first time in years — and was overwhelmed by the natural beauty that surrounded him. “We camped out. It was ice-cold, five…
Any film geek worth his weight in black-framed glasses knows the joy of sitting in a dark theater listening to the whir of the projector. The sound of delicate celluloid shooting through that machine in the booth overhead echoes an earlier era, when cinematographers changed film in thick sacks, their…
Like the climactic scene in a teen movie where the homely girl’s glasses are removed, her hair primped and her lips liberally beglossed, the new, improved Colorado Convention Center will reveal itself on Thursday, in all her geometric glory. “Celebrate Denver!,” the free open house celebrating the massive expansion –…
SUN, 12/5 For someone like Richard Nelson, who grew up in the small northeast-plains town of Peetz, Colorado, East High must have seemed a far cry from the schoolhouses of his youth. His first shock came when he walked into the mammoth school as the new English teacher in 1964…
John Heffron is doing his best to enjoy a rare day off at his home in Los Angeles, but it’s proving rather difficult. At the tail end of an exhausting seven-month tour, the standup comedian has only been awake a few minutes and is already on his third interview of…
In 1986, Jack Kemp spoke out before the United States Congress against a resolution backing an American bid to host the World Cup. “I think it is important for all those young out there who someday hope to play real football, where you throw it and kick it and run…
THURS, 11/11 Three young composers, just out of music school and trying to make it in New York during the mid-’80s, took to meeting over breakfast every morning to discuss artistic life and, perhaps most of all, to complain. There was plenty for Michael Gordon, Julia Wolfe and David Lang…
On a list of the sexiest sports, bowling would probably rank pretty low. Lucky Strike Lanes, which recently opened at 500 East 16th Street in the Denver Pavilions, is hoping to change that by combining nightclub and gourmet-restaurant elements with ten pins and a heavy ball. “Bowling isn’t for bowlers…
SAT, 11/6 Yoga is all about how you breathe, says Kirtan chant leader Dave Stringer: “If you have no awareness of breath, you’re just exercising. If you’re using your breath, you’re practicing yoga.” And while Kirtan doesn’t involve the thoughtful stretching of limbs or the fine art of tying oneself…
SAT, 11/6 When the Denver School of the Arts opened its new facility in 2003, administrators decided that what they had was too impressive to keep to themselves. They also recognized that the state-of-the-art campus offered a unique opportunity to connect with the community. “We realized that the DSA could…
There’s nothing better than having your frontman fuck up in public, especially when your band is about to release a new album. Jason Stollsteimer let Jack White go smack-my-bitch-up on his face, and suddenly the Von Bondies became positively anticipated. Likewise, Jeff Tweedy checked into rehab for painkiller addiction and…
FRI, 10/29 To truly appreciate Red Priest, you really must transport yourself to Baroque times — when Handel and Bach were society’s rock stars, creating bold and riveting music that wowed the courtly crowds. The iconoclastic British early-music company, once declared “the Cirque du Soleil of baroque performance ensembles” on…
