Ah, dawg, we can’t leave yet,” says DJ Chonz, nodding toward the front door. “The cops have this place surrounded. There’s something going down.” With his ballcap tilted to the side and a smirk that never leaves his face, Chonz looks like a mischief maker. But he’s not kidding: In…

Nolan Ryan probably had a pretty decent curve. But the thing that earned him a Hall of Fame plaque in Cooperstown and the respect of every hitter that faced him was his scorching heater. Likewise, an unassuming trio of fellow Texans, originally dubbed Magneto U.S.A., made a name for themselves…

For those hoping to rub shoulders with Russell Simmons at Denver’s upcoming Hip-Hop Festival and Summit, the event may not be as def as expected. Hip-hop fans started anticipating big things last May, when Def Jam co-founder and hip-hop impresario Simmons stood next to then-mayor Wellington Webb, touting his Rush…

What with eight bandmembers clad in matching jumpsuits and rubber masks, and the bludgeoning cacophony those bandmembers have produced over the years, it’s easy to dismiss Mushroomhead as a bargain-basement knockoff of Slipknot. Shroomco, however, was founded in 1993; Slipknot didn’t come together until 1995. And Mushroomhead donned the getups…

“Denver rap sucks.” That’s a bold statement, especially when made before MCs like Dent and Black Pegasus, hosts of the April 18 DMC turntable competition at the Fox Theatre in Boulder, as well as such Mootown luminaries as Apostle and Kingdom (whose beef I wrote about in this space on…

Don’t believe the hype. Chuck and Flava said that back in the day, and how right they were. Losing your virginity: overrated. Lord of the Rings: whatever. Hockey: Don’t even get me started. And this admonition is particularly useful when considering music. I mean, the Von Bondies? C’mon. Still, every…

Roll call at Denver City Council on Monday, April 5. Charlie Brown. Check. Jeanne Faatz, Rick Garcia, Michael Hancock. Check. Doug Linkhart, Kathleen MacKenzie, Judy Montero. Check. Rosemary Rodriguez, Elbra Wedgeworth and the Dalhart Imperials. Check. What the — ? The Dalhart Imperials? Yessir. Among those present and accounted for…

James Hetfield is a has-been. A washed-up, second-rate Lemmy. You heard me. And Metallica is the metal equivalent of U2, which time has rendered as obsolete as pager technology. If you’re still buying that shit that Hetfield and company are selling, you’ve been Metallipunk’d. Sure, when I was a fresh-eyed…

Fuck the Fags. Yeah, I’ve seen the T-shirts. I know “homophobia is gay.” But the Fags — a band out of Detroit that performed two weeks ago at South by Southwest — still blows. For the uninitiated, SXSW is a mutant hybrid of Mardi Gras and spring break that takes…

Long before Doc Atkins convinced us to 86 whitey and the boys from the pyramid, beef was a rap staple. Feuds between rival MCs like LL Cool J and Kool Moe Dee, KRS-One and MC Shan have clogged many an artery: Pac taunting Biggie about knocking boots with Big Poppa’s…

The last time Def Jam co-founder Russell Simmons was in town, back in May 2003, he announced that he’d be bringing one of his famed hip-hop summits to Denver later that year. But 2003 ended without a repeat appearance by Simmons — much less a Mootown summit. This past Thursday,…

The Autumn Defense’s sophomore disc was just released. It’s brand-new. Really. You can check the date on the back. But if you listen to the record blindly, you’d swear that Circles — with its Burt Bacharach-esque string and horn arrangements, undulating bass lines and delicate vocals — was recorded around…

For some, last Tuesday was Fat Tuesday, the final day of drunken debauchery before Ash Wednesday. For music activists across the nation, it was Grey Tuesday, a day of civil disobedience. Nearly 200 websites allowed people to download copies of DJ Danger Mouse’s Grey Album — an innovative effort that…

“They call it stormy Monday, but Tuesday’s just as bad/Lord and Wednesday’s worse, Thursday’s oh so sad.” Those lines are from T-Bone Walker’s oft-covered “Stormy Monday” — but they’re also an apt description of the weekday business at Brendan’s Pub since it reopened on Larimer Street last summer. And come…

Lauded producer Kanye West has a king-sized chip on his shoulder about being passed over so many times as an MC. But with the breakout success of The College Dropout’s first two singles (“Through the Wire” and “Slow Jamz”), it’s a safe bet the chip has been whittled down to…

On Tuesday, February 10, Mootown’s honorary mayor held court at Herman’s Hideaway. “My name’s Todd,” said Todd Park Mohr. “I play in a band called Big Head Todd and the Monsters. This is them.” Yeah, as if he had to tell this crowd that. Everybody in Mootown knows the Cabeza…

Bill, get a jump rope, get in shape and have a Coke. — anonymous post in Rogue’s guest book “I’ve gotten laid more than any of these skinny guys who talk shit about me,” Bill Terrell says emphatically. “I’ve played more shows than any of these skinny guys. I’m cooler…

Bring on the hookers and blow. If the members of Vaux — bassist Ryder Robison, vocalist Quentin Smith, guitarist/keyboardist Greg Daniels, guitarists Chris Sorensen and Adam Tymn, and drummer Joe McChan — aren’t somewhere partying like rock stars right now, by God, they should be. Since they recently finalized a…

Last Tuesday night, War’s “The World Is a Ghetto” poured from the jukebox as a handful of regulars bellied up to the bar at the Lion’s Lair. A little farther down Colfax, Bargain Music prepared to take the stage at the Bluebird. As far as John Q was concerned, it…

The Recording Industry Association of America fired off another round of lawsuits last week. Utterly shocking, I know. But this time, rather than bullying a bunch of blue-hairs and soccer moms, the RIAA has made it personal — or impersonal, as the case may be. The association expanded its dragnet…

“How can we miss you if you won’t go away?” That question applies to a lot of people, specifically Kiss, Cher, Michael Jordan and, most recently, the Lord High Commander of the Freak Brigade, Maris the Great. Evidently, he’s back — although I didn’t know he was gone. Just a…