The absurdity of a sativa called Somali Taxi Ride might pique my interest, but Hash Plant is straight to the point, and I respect that.

Congratulations, my friend: You’ve found another cannabis gray area.

Before all you weed-hating chumps get mad, you’d better be prepared to do the same for anyone who takes a day off to get drunk at the Great American Beer Fest or at Coors Field on opening day.

It’d be disappointing if 303 OG were a hard strain to find around Denver, as are Colorado Cough and Commerce City Kush. Fortunately, it’s not.

Thee handful of private cannabis clubs in the state, Denver businesses with social consumption licenses and 420-friendly private events can only operate if they don’t allow anyone under 21 through the door.

You don’t want to waste part of your $70-plus purchase, though, do you?

With such a heavy coat of resin glands and THC levels approaching 30 percent, I’m surprised this strain wasn’t named after Savannah Smiles.

If it’s a group outing, be sure that you each hold on to or claim possession of your cannabis separately, as possessing more than an ounce of pot is still illegal in Colorado.

The concept of a pot lounge might give you an image of a heady cafe in Amsterdam with pot brownies and bongs at the tables for your leisure, but that’s not how this works in Denver.

You all could figure out your THC tolerances and consume responsibly — but I realize that’s asking a lot of college kids.

Granola Funk isn’t a jam band that opens for Phish or Umphrey’s McGee, but it might be in the same ballpark.

Probably not at a dispensary — at least not that anyone would admit.

One of my favorite YouTube dens of nostalgia and stupidity is anti-marijuana commercials and public service announcements from yesteryear.

Brighton City Council banned medical dispensaries and recreational shops before 2014.

Hercules is becoming increasingly popular around Denver, but as with Gorilla Glue, its qualities can vary from grow to grow, and it’s known to have a number of phenotypes.

Making cannabutter in slow-cookers or on low stovetop heat are among the preferred methods, as the low heat requires less monitoring to avoid the boiling temperatures that kill THC.

Seeds are harder to cultivate and don’t always produce a female plant, but they’re much easier to ship or travel with.

The strain’s effects can be somewhat listless if it’s consumed at too high a dosage, which happens very easily if you’re not careful.

Most extractions used to make infused products, such as cannabutter and butane hash oil, extract terpenes as well as such cannabinoids as CBD and THC, so the majority of them smell like pot from the moment they’re made to the moment you poop ’em out.

Of the 93,095 active patients on the Colorado Medical Marijuana Registry, 86,317 listed severe pain as a qualifying condition.

Guaranteed to blow your mind — anytime.

If it’s pure hash oil and there’s no vaping liquid in there, then you can dab or eat that oil all you want. But don’t give up just yet.