Bring a bottle of Super Lemon Haze to the next gathering full of people you don’t know and watch the vultures circle as the smell fills the room.

Dear Stoner: Will secondhand pot smoke get me high? Rudy Dear Rudy: Thanks to advice from Casanova (the eighteenth-century Italian adventurer/author/player), oysters are renowned as an aphrodisiac — a natural Viagra, if you will. But while oysters are high in zinc, which increases testosterone, and dopamine, which stimulates the brain,…

Have you ever heard of a legendary strain on the street but never found it? Like that urban legend about catfish the size of a Volkswagen at the bottom of the lake, some tales are too good to be true. For me, L.A. Confidential was that car-sized catfish for the…

Dear Stoner: I would like to get a test for my THC levels without risking my driving privilege. If the marijuana industry is so smart and innovative, why is nothing being offered to consumers? Steve Dear Steve: Didn’t know the marijuana industry was responsible for your self-control or driving habits…

The strain world moves too fast for any one person to keep up with all of the changes. I’m happy to try, but even ol’ Herb can’t stay high all day every day. These days, most pot shops I visit have at least one or two strains that I’ve never…

Dear Stoner: Some people say vaporizers will make your weed last longer, but others swear that the old “one-hitter” or “dugout” is the best way to stretch your stash. What are your thoughts on this? Eric Dear Eric: Size, quality and temperature are the most important variables for vaporizers. I…

Did you ever eat generic cereal out of a bag instead of the expensive stuff out of a box? They basically taste the same — but still, something’s not right. That’s because our snooty minds are triggering a knee-jerk reaction, making us think that brand names and pretty packaging matter…

Dear Stoner: Why do you and all of the media refer to marijuana buds as “flower”? The flowers on the marijuana plant are produced by the male plant. The real magic happens when you successfully eliminate all of the males and their flowers and keep the females from getting pollinated…

Dear Stoner: I have bouts of nausea for days sometimes, and I’ve heard that pot tea can help. Do you know how to make it? I live in Colorado, so it’s legal here. Blizz Dear Blizz: You’ve heard correctly — pot tea can be a marvel for those suffering from…

In this age of instant development, Hawaii has a timeless quality. The culture, pride and desires of its people have kept the non-resort areas true to their roots, for the most part — which is probably why you’ll hear natives muttering things you hope you don’t understand as you pass…

Back when music was the only mainstream outlet where the public could hear descriptions of marijuana, the words used were usually something along the lines of “sticky,” “da bomb,” “no seeds” and so on. No real details were dropped in there beyond maybe a “sour” or “purple.” So for the…

Dear Stoner: I have a drug test in a week and smoked weed ten days ago. I hadn’t smoked for a while before that. Will I be good? Should I be worried? Prickly Dear Prickly: It depends on what method the drug test uses to detect THC. If it’s a…

Living without air-conditioning in Denver is more of a blessing than a curse at this stage of my financial life. Even in the middle of the summer, my house rarely went above the mid-80s during the afternoon, so I was never tempted to double my energy bill. When I lived…

Dear Stoner: How often should I switch out bong water? I’ve heard every day, but that seems like too much. Bassy Dear Bassy: Switching your bong water is like brushing your teeth: There’s no such thing as overdoing it. No one is ever going to hit your sparkling water pipe…

I like to consider myself a manly man in most regards — I drink my coffee black, like my beers strong and consider V-necks a stain upon society. But when it comes to marijuana, I’m pretty much a yoga-pants-wearing wimp holding a pumpkin-spice latte: I like my strains sweet, sugary…

Dear Stoner: Does the pot-smoking measure have a chance in November? What will it do? Hopeful Dear Hopeful: Although “Responsible Use Denver” — the NORML proposal to allow licensing for private marijuana clubs and special events — fell short of the 4,726 valid signatures needed to make the ballot, the…

I remember my first experience with Gorilla Glue. I was twelve, and it was in Ms. Toth’s science class. No, I wasn’t some middle-school loser lighting up in class; I was the middle-school loser gluing his rookie teacher’s mug to her desk. Strong stuff, that Gorilla Glue. It lasted longer…

Dear Stoner: I see these scam ads on Craigslist that rip off folks just looking for a little relief. It used to be just regular face-to-face local delivery, but now it’s a constant scam pretending that they’ll ship products out of state. Does any police department ever track down these…

“Tastes so good, makes a grown man cry. Sweet. Cherry. Pie.” Those hair-metal lyrics compare a diner dessert to a woman’s genitalia — but I can’t refrain from singing the line whenever I come across a certain strain. However, I didn’t take the time to explain this to the budtender,…

Dear Stoner: I’m in the midst of a devastating family situation and am so blindsided by grief and stress that I need something to calm me down and help me fall asleep. I don’t wish to smoke, but am open to other suggestions. Elizabeth Dear Elizabeth: If this situation is…

Bubba Kush is one baaaaad strain. Bubba Kush will grab your money, knock you out, and leave you weak in the knees when you finally wake up. Bubba Kush will take your mother out for a nice dinner and never call her again. Bubba Kush don’t give a fuck. Bubba…

Dear Stoner: I’ve tried sativas and indicas, and they’re all fine and dandy, but I’m looking for something more in the middle. What are some good hybrids that are actually hybrids? Happy Jack Dear Jack: All hybrids are actually hybrids. In fact, nearly all of the strains you’ll find nowadays…