It’s a jungle in there. The lighting is dim, but you can still spy the wild life scattered across the landscape. Writhing, naked slaves are shackled to crosses, their desperate wails punctuated by the “thud…thud…THUD” of leather floggers meeting tender skin. A dispassionate domme watches her collared subbie boy struggle…
The only things more creepy than miniatures, dolls and toys that are supposed to be creepy are ones that are unintentionally disturbing. And the kindly volunteers who worked this weekend were blissfully unaware of the darkly bizarre nature of some of the exhibits. I asked Bill and Sarah West, who…
Chipotle Mexican Grill, Feed Denver and the Denver Botanic Gardens came together last night to host a screening of Locavore, the first movie in a sustainable food film series aimed at raising awareness of growing local, buying local — and eating local…
When IKEA opened its 38th U.S. store in Centennial last week, the offers of free sofas, mattresses, chairs, meals and even baby spruce trees turned what would already have have been a stampede of eager customers into a veritable feeding frenzy of folks feeling the Need for Swede. But what…
In an obvious but well-timed bid to compete with other chain restaurants’ efforts to provide more calorie-cutting offerings, Chick-fil-A, the prominent purveyors of fried chicken sammies to willing masses of mall-walkers, is now serving oatmeal. As of this past Monday, the current menu is lightly seasoned with less-bad-for-you items such…
IKEA’s grand opening on July 27 will give fervent foodie fans access to a veritable smorgasbord of reasonably-priced Swedish tongue-tempters.The restaurant menus and groceries available at each IKEA vary according to regional tastes, but Coloradans should know that the Centennial store — the 38th to open in this country –…
Olive Garden just announced that it would be kicking fries and milkshakes off of the children’s menu at all its restaurants, replacing them with smoothies and grapes. This move is designed to please parents who drag their squirming spawn into the post-popular Italian chain, but it’s tough breaks for servers,…
In life, he was a 104-pound swordfish in the North Atlantic, a loner, with finite eyesight, swimming around and snapping up a good meal of tuna, mackerel or an octopus, if he could get it. But his species’ famed speed and agility did not save him from being harpooned off…
It was after sitting through about 90 percent of the movie that I decided Sarah Palin’s The Undefeated was 49 percent PBS-style documentary on how great Alaska is, 50 percent “Palin pal posse” circle jerk, and 1 percent Ronald Reagan references. Or perhaps a more accurate summation of this one-hour,…
Futurama has given us so much. Since 1999 it has offered us sex, drugs, violence, hooker bots, sewer mutants, Hedonism Bot, a fossilized dog, death by snoo-snoo, a big ball of garbage, hooker bots, Slurm, whalers on the moon, Morbo, toasters that feel love, Popplers, positron shooters, a were-car, worm-infested…
Watching foodies beat the organic-arugula shit out of each other in the media is a lot like watching toddlers fight in the sandbox: It’s hilarious, semi-productive, and it basically comes down to which kid has the biggest shovel and sand pail to knock down bodies with. Foodie fights are semi-productive…
I’m a writer so I’m always in a state of coinus interruptus, but imagine my surprise when I recently discovered a dollar store where things actually cost a dollar each: Dollar Tree. This economical sanctuary at 4923 East Colfax Avenue has some splendid buys for a crumpled George Washington, and…
There are just some topics that the shorties don’t need to have rattling around in their malleable little cranial cavities. Subjects like incarceration, nail fungus, sales tax, methamphetamines, the GOP and proper care of houseplants are ones best reserved for 22-year-old college dropouts — not toddlers. I say let the…
We all have super-secret snacks that taste straight righteous to us, but would send other people scampering to discharge their tummy floaters into the nearest lavatory. Munchies so bizarre and immoral that a food writer hobnobbing with the gentry, sipping champagne and spearing delicate bits of seared ahi dipped in…
So many edibles and drinkables, so many myths: Organic is automatically healthier than conventional, macaroons are poised to be a huge food trend, sushi is really posh and socially assigned to be attractive yuppie chow, and real foodies will unfailingly watch every single episode of Top Chef. Misunderstandings about foods…
I came. I saw. I marched. I made an obscene gesture at some rowdy Christians. And then I tripped, fell on my ass and twisted the shit out of my ankle. But it was all for a good cause: I marched in the Denver PrideFest Parade with the leather contingent…
Dunkin’ Donuts is being sued again. Danielle Jordan, 47, a diabetic, alleges that the cup of coffee she ordered from her local DDs was laced with sugar instead of the artificial sweetener she’d asked for, and is seeking “unspecified damages” (code for a shload of coinage) after allegedly experiencing physical…
According to a recent article in 24/7 Wall St., a handful of beloved breakfast cereals are steadily declining in popularity — and may end up in the annals of cereal history rather than being shoveled into the eager mouths of children every morning. The cereals currently on life support are…
So McDonald’s is issuing a “surprising, embarrassing and uncharacteristic” apology to its Australian customers because McCafé coffee sucks. “We are the largest coffee chain in Australia, but we know we are not the most loved,” Helen Nash, McDonald’s Australian COO, told The Australian. “Customers have told us we can do…
If you hear it from the Food Channel, then it must be true. This crew’s latest list — of top-ten dessert trends — includes mass wedding cake genocide, tableside theatrics, Cinnamon Twists from Taco Bell, beer paired with doughnuts, two-fisting nuts (and yes, “two-fisting” is being used as a verb…
Plump, ripe strawberries with their tips dipped in dark, silky melted chocolate are pretty sexy. Placing them gently, one by one, onto the warm, supple flesh of a naked woman is even sexier. And being that woman, in a roomful of people who not only understand why I would do…
With the Rocky fight theme blaring from an iPod speaker and a modest crowd shifting between watching intently and applauding fervently, six butchers gathered at the Cherry Creek store yesterday to compete for the top spot in the Whole Foods Top Butcher Competition. Attractive men wielding big, sharp knives laying…
