The guys who called Coloradans’ d*cks small: Shmucks of the Week

So …I love city and state rankings. I even wrote a whole ode to them once. I’m fully aware that they’re complete bullshit, just bait for us desperate blogger-types to suck down and spit out in the form of free publicity for whichever company pulled the alleged statistics out of…

Kidz in the Hall at Cervantes: Making Wednesday look cool

I must admit I had zero idea there was a band called Kidz in the Hall, and was highly disappointed when our photographer told me they had played Cervantes last night. My favorite Canadian sketch group added a ‘z’ to their name? How totally un-Canuck-y of them! Turns out it’s…

Busting beers at home and in Austin: Over the Weekend

Another Monday. Ugh. Not sure if reliving the weekend will make it better or worse, but we don’t have much of a choice, do we? So, without further ado, some shit that happened between last Friday and now: • Kate Levy threw down at the Wrangler’s Sunday Beer Bust. •…

NCAA bracket-busters: Shmuck of the Week

I always liked Georgetown. Pretty campus, cool uniforms, lots of history — what else do you need to know about a team to deem it Elite Eight-bound? But then the tournament started, and Georgetown decided to wet itself against a team that, eighteen hours later, I can’t even remember their…

Last Night: St. Paddy’s Day pre-party at Suite 200

Are you drunk yet? Well, you should be, presuming your name is Jimmy and you like being hammered before Kathie Lee and Hoda even hit the airwaves. It’s St. Patrick’s Day, after all. You can find tons of shit to do on our St. Paddy’s day event listings. Or, if…

Bad-mannered recession-era employers: Shmucks of the Week

The state’s job losses were more gruesome than previously thought, the Post reported yesterday, as updated stats showed an additional 17,000 lost jobs last year. So that’s depressing — especially if you’re one of the people out there looking for work. I meet more and more such people every week,…

Daphne’s Greek Cafe closes, opening some prime lunch-time real estate

You could practically taste the skepticism when Jason Sheehan wrote about the arrival of Daphne’s Greek Cafe (575 Lincoln Street) in 2007: Denver will get its first outpost of Daphne’s Greek Cafe, a California-based fast-casual chain, on March 19. Since most Greek restaurants are pretty quick and casual, how will…

Shmuck of the Week: Kent Jones, band teacher

Enduring the ear-drum-shattering sounds of a freshmen band is bound to drive any man crazy. And it seems to have done just that to Kent Jones, the band teacher at Louisville’s Monarch High School. According to the Boulder Daily Camera, police are investigating allegations that Jones — fed up with…

Up Close: Phoenician Kabob

In this week’s Westword, Stephen Crout writes about a trip to Phoenician Kabob by the Foodies Eating Diverse and Unusual Platings (FEDUPs). See more photos, by Mark Manger, on the slideshow page…

Over the Weekend: Sideburns from hell

Another busy weekend in Denver, especially for men with unruly facial hair. They gathered at Vine Street Pub for the Denver Chop Month Competition. Photographer Aaron Thackeray was there. Elsewhere, Cobraconda played a burrito place, while Sun Red, Old Radio, Paean and Night of Joy hit the Meadowlark. Happy Monday…

Shmucks of the Week: Drugs (the bad kind)

Why drugs? Because they caused this guy to shimmy out his bedroom window and hit a cop with his car when police showed up at his door. They inspired this crazy bitch to deprive hospital patients of vital medicine and infect those same patients with Hep C. And, perhaps worst…