“Books on subjects related to the professional hit man are hard to find. But there are a few publishers out there who have the backbone to provide those of us who take life seriously with the necessary educational materials.” — from Hit Man: A Technical Manual for Independent Contractors. Paladin…
Westword’s What United Did to My Summer Vacation contest has been a resounding success. Well, not for United Airlines customers, of course. No, things just keep getting worse for them. A recent example? Nearly 200 United flights out of Denver International Airport were canceled between this past Friday and Sunday,…
Our state legislators must be so jealous. First the Colorado Board of Education decides to flaunt the Constitution by demanding that the slogan “In God We Trust” be posted in public schools. (Hint to the Colorado Board of Education: Posting “In Math We Trust” might be more appropriate.) Then a…
For years, opening day at Cheyenne Frontier Days has been “Colorado Appreciation Day.” But on Saturday, not a single appreciative Colorado official returned the favor by joining in the parade of cowboys, baton twirlers, Shriner cars and Minuteman missiles winding its way through downtown Cheyenne. Even if he didn’t ride…
United Airlines sucks. You know it. We know it. Even the people who run United know it, but they won’t admit it — at least, not to their customers. And this summer has been especially sucky. Just as Congress was realizing its mistake in dumping last year’s airline passengers’ bill…
Boston gave them Palm Pilots with the August 2000 calendars already filled in with the notation “Democratic National Convention/Boston.” Denver loaded them up with signed Denver Broncos footballs, souvenir necklaces and cuff links, ski jackets from Vail, backpacks from Winter Park, and Pepsi Center hard hats. But in the end,…
Up in smoke: That mushroom cloud over New Mexico last month didn’t have anything to do with an out-of-control “controlled” fire burning up radioactive material at Los Alamos. Actually, it was Department of Energy Secretary Bill Richardson’s chances of being nominated as Al Gore’s vice-presidential running mate that were going…
The Greens are coming, the greens are coming! Between 600 and 1,000 Green Party members from across the United States — and at least fourteen other countries — have been revving up their VW buses and Volvos (no Corvairs, please) and are, at this very moment, on their way to…
When Roy Romer was hired last week as superintendent of the Los Angeles Unified School District — or what L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan refers to as “the most dysfunctional bureaucracy in the history of the world” — a few school-board members questioned whether he had enough experience. Romer may have…
The radio ad begins innocently enough with the sound of chirping crickets. “You’re listening to the Kleins camping out under the stars,” a happy voice says. “The Klein family are lottery winners. Not because they won the top prize in a scratch game or matched any numbers in a Lotto…
Hundreds of people attending the Rocky Mountain Children’s Law Center fundraiser on Thursday went home disappointed. It seems that Thunder, the white Arabian stallion, isn’t well. According to the brochure that went along with the event, Sharon Magness, socialite, benefactress and widow of cable magnate Bill Magness, was supposed to…
On November 19, Junior Seau and the rest of the listless San Diego Chargers will file their way onto a chartered airplane and fly to Denver for their yearly faceoff against the Denver Broncos. The owners of the team, 76-year-old Alex Spanos and his son, Dean Spanos, will probably join…
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sure as fuck ain’t the Denver police. This is one of Denver radio personality Peter Boyles’s favorite new jokes about this city’s little no-knock-raid publicity problem, but he can’t say it on the air, for obvious reasons. Less obvious, however, is why the ubiquitous KHOW talk-radio…
Elected and public officials have it rough. They’re cooped up in the stodgy State Capitol or some city administration building all day, and if they do get any exercise, it’s usually hopping from one chicken-fried-steak fundraising luncheon to the next. Even if these meals are free (well, free for them,…
Colorado’s image has taken a beating over the past several years, what with the eternally unsolved murder of JonBenét Ramsey, in which Boulder’s law-enforcement types compare unfavorably with Mayberry’s, and then the Columbine killings, which continue to inspire Jefferson County Sheriff John Stone’s excellent impersonation of Barney Fife (even if…
The JonBenét Ramsey movie Perfect Murder, Perfect Town may have been mostly filmed in Utah, and the John Denver movie airing this Sunday, Take Me Home: The John Denver Story, may have been shot in Vancouver, but that doesn’t mean that everybody thinks Colorado is a bad location for moviemaking…
It’s not offered at any of your finer acting schools, and it certainly won’t be found in the theater section of the New York Times, but performing along with the Rocky Horror Picture Show — a tradition carried out at movie houses nationwide by cultish followers of the 1975 flick…
Fans of John Travolta are causing a run on pre-registrations for Starfest 2000, a massive science-fiction convention to be held this weekend at the Holiday Inn DIA. Along with Kate Mulgrew (aka Star Trek Voyager’s Captain Kathryn Janeway), Travolta is the featured star power at this year’s big bang. And…
More than a year ago, just before he was elected to a third term, Mayor Wellington Webb pledged that within six months, he would appoint a “drug czar” who would oversee the city’s battle against illegal substance abuse. The March 31, 1999, promise was part of a sweeping plan suggested…
Last week’s news that the state legislature wants to cut the lieutenant governor’s budget by 25 percent — meaning the elimination of two positions from a six-person staff — came as a blow to Joe Rogers, the man who currently holds the job. But since there are only four people…
Mayor Wellington Webb traveled to London in mid-March to meet with government and business officials and to formally open Denver’s new British trade office there. He also took time to observe London’s current mayoral race and to offer personal grooming advice to Frank Dobson, a Labor Party candidate who is…
The son also rises: Senatorial progeny Colin Lee (don’t call me Nighthorse) Campbell has been raking in the gubernatorial appointments. In December, Governor Bill Owens asked him to serve on the eleven-member Colorado Utility Consumers Board, which makes recommendations on policies to the Office of Consumer Counsel, and in February…
