The line that snaked around Larimer Square last night was a mix of old men and young women, all trying to get into Suite 200, site of the Ms. Colorado Hooters pageant. And inside, it seemed like everyone who ever was or still is connected to Hooters was in the…

Charity begins at home — in the case of Paula Deen’s maid, the butter queen’s home. Mary Alice White was found in possession of over 10K in stolen merchandise reportedly taken from Deen’s house. According to the police report filed by her husband, Michael Groover, and obtained by TMZ, the…

What with his Food Channel fame and a restaurant empire stretching from Las Vegas to New York City, it was bound to happen: Bobby Flay is now king of all he surveys. At least he thinks so. Applebee’s recently introduced a menu concept of “regional American burgers” from such locales…

The NBA finals are just a double dribble away, and the National Basketball Association has applied some outside-the-box thinking to inside a cardboard pizza box: While watching the game at home, you can now enjoy a pizza with your favorite team’s logo melted onto the pie. Rick Ellison, licensee for…

Fruits and vegetables won’t get you laid (in a tanning bed). Forget the fake-and-bake method of tanning; if you really want to look like you’ve had fun in the sun, you should be eating healthy. A new study done at Britain’s Bristol University has concluded that eating fresh fruit and…

The clown at the center of the controversy had nothing on the clowns outside the annual McDonald’s investor meeting in Chicago last week. Ronald McDonald has been under fire recently as a provider of both bad meals and bad lessons to the nation’s chunky, un-educated toddlers, and with Michelle Obama…

HHorton sees a Hooter. If you’re into breasts and thighs for happy hour, there’s no better place to find them than your local Hooters, where the servers wear skimpy attire and hang on your every word, if not your wallet. Cassie Smith of Roseville, Michigan, had been hoofing it at…

Crime doesn’t pay — especially when you’re stealing 3.2 percent beer. Dominic Lujan and Demetrio Rivera were thirsting for adult beverages and not acting like adults — so at 5:30 a.m. one recent morning, they hatched a brilliant plan to rob the local Loaf ‘N Jug. Since options are limited…

Advice for the lovelorn: Lettuce alone. Lisa Leigh Allen of Highlands Ranch decided that she had had enough of being married and decided to skip divorce court by simply poisoning her husband, Jonathan Allen, a police officer in Jefferson County. And so she served him a special dinner salad that…

Piece of pigs masquerading as sheep are the latest delicacy in New York. For the astounding price of just $82.99 a pound, you can sample a creature that looks like a cross between a sheep and a pig and tastes like pork, but has a shaggy coat. The fur keeps…

A new Subway will open Sunday at 200 Quebec Street, and to celebrate, it will hold a Footlong- eating contest at 1 p.m., with the person who consumes the most Footlong subs in ten minutes winning four tickets to a Rockies game. This could be your only chance to eat…

In Britain, a rogue jelly baby was found in a particular state of euphoria amongst his rubbery pals. Lyz Parker, who lives in Middlesex (convenient) purchased some candy at a local store; when she opened the bag in her office, she noticed the gummy guy holding his micro-parts with his…

The Armed Forces are fighting the battle of the bulge: 27 percent of all Americans aged 17 to 24 are too fat to join the military, according to a recent study titled “Too Fat to Fight.” And retired generals have fingered a steady school-lunch diet of fried foods and oil-slicked…

If you’re in the mood for beauty without the beast, play like Lewis and Clark and head to the great northwest, where Portland is home to the first vegan restaurant/gentleman’s club. Johnny Diablo is the owner of Casa Diablo, and says it’s his mission to “save as many creatures from…

Anyway you slice, it, these were two dumb crooks. Francis Gallagher and Taylor Powell thought they’d hit the jackpot when the two bayou boobs from Louisiana snagged the identity of a Tennessee man with whom they’d been playing online games. And with the info from the stolen credit card, what…

God grant me patience — or at least a burger. New research with 57 volunteers indicates there’s a real reason it’s called fast food. After his study, Chen-Bo Zhong at Toronto University came to the scientific conclusion that “fast food represents a culture of time efficiency and instant gratification.” I…

Irony, thy name is Holistic Medicine If you’re a proponent of alternative medicine, make sure you’re taking the correct dosage of tree-hugging meds — or you could end up buried under the big branch. Gary Null, a nutrition author and self-described health guru with his own line of dietary supplements…

When you go out to eat, no matter how hard you fight, you may lose the battle of the bulge. That’s because if your server is overweight, you will order more food and like it, according to a new scientific study. The universities of British Columbia and Arizona, in conjunction…

In Lincoln, Nebraska, there are numerous homegrown items to sink your teeth into, including steak, pork and corn. Anna Godfrey has now put another item on the menu: human ears. According to this report, Lincoln’s finest were called to a local hospital after receiving a report that a patient was…

The Pasta Bible, a new Aussie cookbook published by Penguin Group Australia, has sinned. In a big way. The proofreader made a “silly mistake,” explained Bob Sessions, head of the publishing group. The recipe for tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto was supposed to include the words “freshly ground black pepper,”…

The King is at it again, and this time he’s taking names — namely, “brunch.” Yes, Burger King is taking aim at the blubbery midsection of the country, introducing its new “Brunch menu” in select markets. Technically an acronym for breakfast and lunch, “brunch” really translates to a long, liquid…