Shmuck of the Week: Tom Martino

Tom, you make us laugh. You make us cry. You make us want to jump off a cliff rather than watch your Lasik infomercials. But your antics over the past two weeks simply made us shake our heads and wonder about your sanity. You didn’t like our recent feature about…

Shmucks of the Week: Brophy and King

It’s coming up on the ten-year anniversary of the Columbine High School murders — so what better time to introduce a bill in the state legislature that would ease a restriction on certain people who want to buy firearms? The bill, pushed by Republican senator Greg Brophy of Wray (pictured)…

Shmuck of the Week: Dave Schultheis (again)

Colorado Springs Republican senator Dave Schultheis continued a style of politics this week that values Biblical interpretations and right-wing philosophy over human life, human suffering and common sense. His latest sentiments involved a bill that would require pregnant women to be tested for HIV. The bill is important because if…

Shmuck of the Week: Peter Boyles

Peter Boyles’s show isn’t popular for its intelligent discourse. Sure, the longtime Denver radio shock jock is a smart man himself and he gets plenty of intelligent people on his program, but things typically devolve quickly. As with most radio shows, ratings trump reason. But Vagina DeJette? Seriously, Peter? That’s…

Shmuck of the Week: ID thieves

Checking into a hospital is lots of fun. First there’s the injury or illness that forced you to be there. Then there’s the stress of not knowing what the outcome will be, the financial burden, and the difficulty of being away from friends, family or work. And finally, the pain-in-the-ass…

Shmuck: A dad and two thieves

There’s plenty of shmuckyness to go around in this delightful story. On Tuesday evening, a Federal Heights man left his car running — with his two-year-old and five-month-old kids in the back — while he ran into a Shell gas-station convenience store. While he was inside, another man got into…

Shmuck in a Shell

It’s a new year, so all of the Shmucks from 2008 — well their transgressions are just raging, unclaimed water under the bridge. But a new year means new Shmucks! And the first is making a claim for some of that raging water. Earlier this week, Shell Oil filed for…

Handler It

Chelsea Handler is a one-woman comic powerhouse. The last time I spoke to her, she talked about why babies suck, why flying can be fun, her latest work and how much she doesn’t like Cleveland (don’t worry, Denverites — she says of our fair city: “I had the best time…

The Candy Man

Each year before Keystone Chef Ned Archibald leaves to erect his chocolate village in the Keystone Lodge — a masterwork created entirely from chocolate and, in the case of the ornaments on the six-foot-tall white-chocolate Christmas tree, hand-blown sugar — his wife gives him a hug and tells him, “Just…

Off Limits

Jefferson County takes its self-appointed role as “gateway to the Rockies” seriously — so seriously that it’s created a Jeffco wildfire-prevention campaign, complete with a jingle contest based on the humorous rhyming roadside signs that made Burma-Shave famous from the 1920s to the early 1960s. And while no one’s finding…