People & Places

WB2Day is a work in progress, to put it politely, but that hasn’t stopped Dan Daru from developing into an entertaining wild card. He’s twisted, unpredictable and funny — and deserves all the attention, as well as slack-jawed stares, that he’s received.

We include the phone number only as a courtesy, in case you’re considering a career as a public servant. But be warned: Dialing it could cost you up to $500 an hour, the going rate for the top partners at The Firm. Still, that’s a small investment if you have an eye on a position in a presidential cabinet — Democratic or Republican. Former Denver mayor Federico Pea hadn’t been with the law firm of Brownstein, Hyatt, Farber (and then) Strickland for six months when he got an emergency call from Bill Clinton in December 1992 to become Secretary of Transportation (Pea later served as Secretary of Energy, too). And the process repeated itself this past December, when lawyer/lobbyist Gale Norton was tapped from the firm to join George W. Bush’s administration as Secretary of the Interior. (As for the missing Strickland, his name came off the firm’s stationery when he became the U.S. Attorney for Colorado — a position the Democrat had to surrender shortly after Bush’s election.)

Morning newscasts are all about balance; they should provide information about important matters yet keep the overall presentation light enough to give viewers a reason to get on with their day. Channel 4 has the mix just about right, thanks to the steady Kathy Soltero, the eccentric Jim Hooley, tightly wound sportscaster Mark McIntosh and weather everyman Dave Aguilera.

There may not have been enough money in the budget to furnish it, but there’s no denying that the King Center, smack in the middle of Auraria, is a beautiful building. Constructed in raw concrete, glass and red brick, it works perfectly with the rest of the campus. The center is by AR7 Hoover Desmond Architects, with Ranko Ruzic serving as the principal designer; interior specialists Semple Brown Design did the performing-arts portions. The design features many cutting-edge elements, not the least of which is the deconstructivist handling of the gateway around the entrance. But the building is also cutting-edge from the standpoint of handicap accessibility: Even the theater’s catwalks are open to wheelchair users, which makes the King Center the best arts facility in the world for people with disabilities.

The long-suffering voice of the Denver Nuggets manages to remain on an even keel when the team is playing over its collective head, as well as when it’s failing to meet expectations (a much more common scenario). Jerry Schemmel’s no-muss-no-fuss delivery and the matter-of-fact tone he uses when expressing his opinions may be the main reason fans of the sub-par squad haven’t yet leapt off the nearest cliff.

Heading down Blake Street, you may do a double take when you spot the brand-new, red-and-blond-brick 16 Market Square, designed by Hartman Cox, along with Quinlivan Pierik & Krause and David Owen Tryba. “Did they move the Sugar Building?” you might ask. Or worse: “Am I heading the wrong way down Wazee Street?” Actually, the new building is only reminiscent of its older neighbor in terms of color, size and corner location: The Sugar Building was modern for its time, but 16 Market Square is traditional for its era. Despite its antique veneer, the building features state-of-the-art, 21st-century amenities. It’s also a nice addition to the neighborhood.

One of the first major buildings to be constructed in the central business district in fifteen years is now rising toward the sky. The federal courthouse annex, at 19th and Champa streets, is meant to relieve crowding at the adjacent federal courthouse — but it also serves as an impressive contribution to downtown. The new building responds well to the older one: Like the original federal courthouse, the annex has an elegant design — although this one joins a finely detailed tower to a massive horizontal block. Conceived by resident modernist Ron Mason, a partner in the Denver firm of Anderson Mason Dale (with Hellmuth, Obata & Kassabaum serving as associate architects), the annex is destined to be among the city’s best high-rises.

Former Denver Bronco Mark Schlereth, the man who’s had more knee surgeries than any other human, has been filling in semi-regularly for Dave Logan on The Sports Zoo, KOA’s afternoon-drive staple, and is proving to be just as reliable off the field as he was on. He’s an amusing lug who doesn’t mind making fun of himself or others when the occasion warrants. The guy’s got a future behind the microphone — a career that, fortunately, won’t do any more damage to his patellas.

Rick Lewis and Michael Floorwax, who’ve held down the a.m. slot at the Fox for over ten years, survived a full frontal assault from Howard Stern, who was torn from the market in brusque fashion. Today they remain Denver’s favorite rude boys. Or, at this point, rude geezers.

Inside a golden atrium of rectangular windows and ornate woodwork, more than 5,000 feet above sea level and 93 steps above the third floor of the State Capitol Building, you’ll find the best panoramic views of Denver and beyond — way beyond. On a clear day, you can see Pikes Peak, Lookout Mountain and practically all the way to Kansas from the Dome. You’ll also find tour guide Ted Polito, who dispenses trivia, historical brochures and personal anecdotes five days a week. Ted has Down’s syndrome, but that hasn’t stopped him from becoming one of the state government’s most reliable, entertaining employees. He dresses like a cowboy for his job, and when he’s not offering up tidbits about Colorado’s past, he’s practicing to become the future Garth Brooks. High above Denver, surrounded by blue sky and sunlight, he’s on top of the world.

If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

Most of the new buildings in LoDo are little more than three-dimensional wallpaper that blends into the background. But every once in a while, an inspired designer comes up with an idea that is compatible with Lower Downtown Historic District requirements and also stands on its own as architecture. Such is the case with the Millennium Building, which was built with remarkable speed in a former parking lot. This postmodern edifice, by Denver architects Parkhill-Ivins, shows a real eye to detail; for example, it’s faced in brick that has been laid in fancy patterns — clearly a response to its historic neighbors. Sure, LoDo needs parking — but it needs good-looking buildings such as this one even more.

Marty Coniglio is a reliable presence on Channel 7’s underappreciated evening newscast, and a generally accurate one. Better yet, he seems more interested in offering information about the latest weather conditions than in showing off every technical gizmo in his arsenal.

Sitting dramatically on a rise above West 120th Avenue — and just across from Chili’s — is the stunning Avaya Communications building. The work of world-famous Connecticut architects Kevin Roche and John Dinkeloo, the Avaya is clad in no less than a dozen kinds and colors of glass. Its most distinctive feature, though, is a 300-foot ocular atrium set on a diagonal (which yokels have mistaken for a satellite dish). The building is a real coup for Westminster, perhaps the last place you’d expect to find Colorado’s first great architectural work of the 21st century.

National media outlets long ago shifted their attention to more catastrophe-ridden states (after all, the networks couldn’t show that clip of JonBenét forever), but Colorado still sets the pace for the rest of the country. That’s because the National Institute of Standards and Technology, the hundred-year-old independent agency that started out as the National Bureau of Standards, has a laboratory in Boulder that maintains the nation’s atomic clocks. Got the time? You will if you check time.gov, as fifty million others do every day.

It’s hard to be a saint in the city, and even harder to hang in the ‘burbs. So Highlands Ranch teens decided to go underground — literally. But now that county workers have exposed local storm drains sporting graffiti, beer cans, candles and other evidence of adolescent occupation, the hip factor of these hideouts has gone into the sewer. Where next? The missile silos on the plains were uncovered years ago…

Less than two years since she arrived in Denver from a TV stint in Miami, KCNC anchor Theresa Marchetta has established herself as a take-no-crap news reader with a straightforward style and an aversion to the usual lowest-common-denominator approach. Even a series of reports on her own treatment for thyroid cancer — the sort of story that could easily have been played as melodrama — were clear-eyed and watchable. Television needs more anchors like her.

There aren’t many mustaches on TV, period, so give Greg Moody credit for growing the proudest, bushiest one imaginable — like Groucho Marx’s, except this one’s made from follicles, not greasepaint.

It had to happen. After LoDo filled up with sports bars and law offices, one seedy old Denver neighborhood after another has been renovated and, in the process, emptied of the artists and low-rent inhabitants who gave each area a unique flavor. And now the bohemian crowd has discovered yet another new homeland where the rents are cheap and the liquor flows — and it just happens to be in the suburb that endured years of ridicule as a soulless collection of subdivisions. The action is centered on East Colfax Avenue, which boasts a collection of buildings dating from the 1940s and 1950s — and

that qualifies as historic in Aurora. The area has struggled for years to find an identity; the addition of dozens of frazzled artists from the city is sure to shake those Stepford wives wide awake.

The hippest man in local TV, Phil Keating, also has the hippest hair — a variation on the messy look that allows a strand or two to snake down over his forehead in a pleasingly post-coital way. Watch him in bed for an extra thrill.

Growth is a hot topic in Colorado these days. But when it comes to knowing and abiding by basic land-use laws, some of those who are most concerned about growth seem to be the most clueless. To help prevent lawsuits and shootouts, a pair of attorney/mediators from southwestern Colorado, Nancy Greif and Erin Johnson, held a “good neighbor” seminar in Durango a couple of years ago — and the response was so overwhelming that they’ve since written a book. With chapters contributed by 37 different land-use experts and a recurring character called Colorado Red, The Good Neighbor Guidebook for Colorado covers such topics as caring for your property responsibly, geo-hazards, dealing with various levels of government and, when all else fails, using the Colorado courts. The guidebooks sells for $27.95 in bookstores and online at www.goodneighborguide.com. Won’t you be our neighbor?

Former RTD chair and current Independence Institute head Jon Caldara has wrangled more air time and ink for his conservative causes — not to mention himself — than any other politico in town. That’s because he not only understands the media, he’s willing to feed the beast — anytime and anywhere. Reporters and editors may not all agree with Caldara’s viewpoints, but they give him an opportunity to espouse them for a simple reason: He isn’t dull.

When an amusement complex’s very name acknowledges that it’s in the Boondocks — in this case, deepest, darkest Northglenn — it deserves a fitting monument. Something impressive. Something for the ages. Something like a life-sized replica of Utah’s Delicate Arch — which, instead of spanning stunning red-rocks country, here rises 54 feet above a parking lot just off I-25 alongside the brand-spanking-new Boondocks Fun Center. It’s impressive, all right — just the sort of symbol that tells you to slam on the breaks for video games and French fries. But what’s even more noteworthy about the arch is that this isn’t the first one the fun center’s owners have built: A Boondocks in Boise boasts an identical landmark.

During husband Wellington Webb’s ten years (and counting) as Denver’s mayor, Wilma Webb was always by his side — even when she was doing double duty as regional secretary of the Department of Labor. As the self-proclaimed First Lady of Denver, she’s seen it all — and no doubt said it all to Wellington, weighing in on the city’s civic and cultural affairs. Isn’t it time for the power behind the throne to take a seat? And we’re not talking Diana DeGette’s congressional seat, which Wilma reportedly is eyeing. The Queen City needs a Queen. All hail Her Honor.

Denver city councilman Dennis Gallagher knew that politics could stink; he just didn’t know how bad — not until he attended a high school graduation party in Denver’s Rocky Mountain Park and was shocked to find raw sewage backed up in the bathroom. And so last year, Gallagher named himself outhouse overlord for the privies in Denver’s parks. Since then, he’s investigated public restrooms in a number of parks and put pressure on the city’s Department of Parks and Recreation to clean up its act in other ways. Just call him number one on number two.

The clouds are lifting, and sunshine is teasing you through the tiny window in your fluorescently lit office. It’s time to grab your sack lunch — or a jumbo dog from the cart at the corner of 13th Avenue and Broadway — and head for the haven of solar-heated brick and concrete that stretches between the main branch of the Denver Public Library and the Denver Art Museum. This is no ordinary relaxation spot, though. It’s a cultural courtyard where you can check out a literary tome from the library or just lean back and admire the funky sculptures around you. Whatever you do here, it’s sure to provide a refreshing bit of inspiration to your harried work day.

You might well wonder why Denver is the first American city to have a trade office in China; we certainly have. Nonetheless, Mayor Wellington Webb recently took a fifty-member entourage on a trade mission to Shanghai — despite the fact that local companies doing business with China already have offices there and thus don’t need Denver taxpayers to subsidize them; despite the fact that the Chinese have the most abysmal human-rights record on slavery; and despite the fact that Webb really has plenty to occupy him back here in Denver. There can only be one explanation: With his third term almost up and a Washington, D.C., post in the George W. Bush White House looking less likely, it’s time for our mayor to go global. As Ambassador to China, Wellington would truly be the World Wide Webb.

If power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely — what about absolute power with big bucks behind it? Gee, that’s a question for Lt. Fineprint, Disclosure Detective, who stars in the “Knowledge Is Power” comic book released last

election season by the Bighorn Center for Public Policy. “When you’re proud of something,” the think tank points out, “you put your name on it.” Rutt Bridges certainly does: He makes no secret of the fact that he funds the new, Denver-based think tank. But the political operatives behind much of the dirty-tricks campaigning last fall weren’t nearly as forthcoming; they took advantage of Colorado’s “educational” committee loophole to launch anonymous attacks on certain candidates. “These are all created by people or organizations who want to influence the outcome of the election without telling you exactly who they are,” Lt. Fineprint notes.

This spring, the tiny town of Rico — 28 miles south of Telluride and population 140 — rated a five-page layout in National Geographic. Under the headline “Make No Mistake About It, This Is NOT Telluride,” the magazine emphasized Rico’s colorful past as a silver-mining town and current pleasures as a small town — for now. We don’t know whether to thank the National Geographic photographer who stumbled on the sleepy town of Rico and exposed it to the rest of the world — or tar and feather him.

Lee Casey wrote for the Rocky Mountain News in the early 1900s, back in the days when columnists were often far more interesting than the events they chronicled. Casey, for example, was so renowned for his peculiar behavior that he was rumored to be the model for the lead character in Harvey, Mary Chase’s play about a fellow whose best friend is an imaginary, six-foot-tall rabbit. But it was in death that Casey’s true eccentric nature emerged: He wanted his ashes interred within the walls of the Rocky Mountain News building. They were, and when the tabloid moved to fancy new digs on Colfax Avenue over a decade ago, Casey moved with the paper. Today his remains are still contained within the lobby walls, and there they will stay — despite the fact that the building now bears a placard announcing that it’s the home of the Denver Newspaper Agency, the managing entity of the joint operating agreement between the News and the Denver Post. Casey must be turning over in his you-know-what.

When President Bill Clinton was inaugurated in 1993, Vail’s Precision Lawn Chair Demonstration Team only got to perform at a warm-up event — and Clinton was a party boy. But at George W. Bush’s inauguration, the sixteen-year-old Vail troupe was front and center in the actual parade, sporting shorts in the frigid D.C. weather, twirling lawn chairs like batons and rating raves from the crowd. These boys don’t take a back seat to anyone.

It’s not easy staying in touch with your state when it includes 63 (64, once Broomfield’s up and running) counties that stretch over thousands of square miles. But Wayne Allard, the Republican veterinarian who’s soon to complete his first term in the Senate, knows that it’s important to make house calls. Every year since his 1996 election, he’s made it a point to visit every county in Colorado to meet with his constituents. You could say he’s driven.

Kids getting a little cranky on that long car ride? Stop by one of the three rest areas along the Colorado River just east of Glenwood Springs, and let them watch the rafters rushing by. If they’re really antsy, tell them to walk along the river to the next rest stop, where you’ll pick them up. Maybe.

Whew! Our temperature started rising the second we caught a glimpse of the 2001 Denver Metro Firefighter Calendar, a fundraising deal for the Children’s Hospital Burn Center. And since it was such a good cause, we felt it was our duty to buy a couple of calendars to share with friends so we could all appreciate the sacrifices that local firefighters had made for charity. Why, some even gave the photographer the shirts off their backs! Although Denver’s fire chief may have quibbled that it wasn’t proper for the buff firefighters to pose so provocatively, these hotties sure got us going. Burn, baby, burn!

Although employees of Burks Communications, a PR firm on the fourth floor of the Trinity Building, would just as soon the Brown Palace across the street tint its windows, they’ve had some fun over the years watching naked patrons of the chichi hotel get in and out of their unmentionables. “Butts at the Brown,” says company president and CEO Susan Burks. “That’s what I call it. We have the best view of butts. I think the men enjoy doing it the most. They keep those blinds open. I know they see us looking — they can’t miss us. But some of those men’s bodies, I tell you…” Burks even calls her co-workers into the office for especially noteworthy rears. “I say, ‘Come look, here’s another one.'” Does she wish the Brown’s male patrons would close their blinds? “In some cases,” she says. “Not all.”

Rich men like steaks, butter and martinis, which is why ambitious girls looking to strike gold should head to Ruth’s Chris Steak House. The challenge is to be sexy but not trashy, so add a string of pearls or a tasteful scarf to your tightest skirt, tallest heels and teeniest top. Slide up to the bar and act innocent — like you were waiting to meet your sorority sister and got stood up — and don’t forget to bat your eyelashes. If you can avoid the temptation to chow down on the high-calorie grub, you may find yourself walking down the aisle. Or at least being chatted up by the valets.

Ne’er-do-wells in the know hurry over to the Denver Pavilions whenever the weather looks bad; by the time the Denver Pavilions 15 opens for its first matinees, drunks, bums and other homeless types are ready to buy their tickets. But just one ticket each, mind you. Since the management never really checks to make sure customers leave the theater after the movie they paid for to watch is over, many a vagrant passes the day enjoying a dozen of the latest first-run selections. But free films aren’t just for shiftless hobos anymore, so join the lineup at 11:30 a.m.

Quit the funny business! The newspaper war’s over, and the terms of the settlement make readers the undisputed victors in one area: comics. Come April, the Denver Post will boast the largest Sunday comics section in the country, since it’s adding the Rocky Mountain News‘s former lineup to its own on that day. (The News will return the favor by running the Post‘s comics on Saturday — but those aren’t the big, four-color Sunday funnies.) You might not give a hoot about Willy ‘n’ Ethel, much less that fusspot Nancy. But for many readers, comic strips are the most important part of their Sunday paper — and they complain long and hard whenever the dailies fool around with them. Now, though, it won’t be a matter of one paper stealing Garfield from the other — they’ll share weekend custody of the curmudgeonly cat. But since the Post won the right to print the town’s only Sunday rag, that’s where you’ll find the lollapalooza of laughs — everything from A (Annie, Little Orphan) to Z (Zippy the Pinhead). It’s double the pleasure, double the funnies.

In a September 18 column, Chuck Green, who’s done more crowing about the Post‘s JOA victory than anyone this side of Dean Singleton, wrote that he’d never considered switching to the Rocky Mountain News during his time in newspapering for a simple reason: “Why work for a bunch of liars and thieves when you can fight on the side of goodness and virtue — and come out the winner, too?”

In October, the Denver Post was struck by a flood of gaffes — and in an effort to stem the flow, staffers assembled to discuss the problem. After that meeting, managing editor for news Larry Burrough thanked attendees for their contributions to the session with an e-mail. The rub? The memo itself contained several errors, including the sentence, “It is notably that most of the mistakes were avoidable, that is to say that many of the mistake were about information we’ve written about before.” Explains a lot, doesn’t it?

One evening early this legislative session, former state representative and current lobbyist Betty Neale was stopped at the State Capitol by a patrolman who thought she looked suspicious — but, hey, she’s a lobbyist! To save Neale (and its own bureaucratic self) from future embarrassments, the Colorado State Patrol subsequently issued Neale a tag that makes her status official: “The Honorable Betty Neale, former state representative, City and County of Denver — Official Loitering Pass.”

It’s no surprise that Tom Green, the best writer among area sportscasters, has announced that he’s leaving Channel 7 in a matter of months; when a program is ratings-challenged, as this one is, the team that puts it together tends to fragment. And that’s unfortunate in this case, since the structure of KMGH’s ten o’clock newscast is sound, its reports are ambitious, anchors Ann Trujillo and Mitch Jelniker are the best in town at getting out of the way of a story, and Green and weathercaster Marty Coniglio are very good at what they do. Catch them while you can.

Nearing completion on the University of Denver campus is the glitzy Alan Gerry Cable Telecommunications Building, which will house the National Cable Television Center and Museum, a nonprofit institution that’s the brainchild of the late Bob Magness, founder of Telecommunications Inc. Any new building would have needed a distinctive look in order to stand up to the visually emphatic Ritchie Center so close by; luckily, this cable complex qualifies. Denver’s RNL Design is responsible for the quirky structure, with its rusticated stone and eyeball windows; appropriately enough, it looks like something out of The Flintstones. And the building’s future is secure — already the museum has attracted tens of millions of dollars in donations. After all, those cable moguls can afford the best.

Interviewer David Barsamian has turned the oddest of specialties — interviews with liberal thinkers such as Noam Chomsky — into a genuine career and a national reputation. His Boulder-based program, Alternative Radio, is syndicated on public-radio stations from coast to coast, and it’s popularity among young tastemakers is exemplified by Keep Left, Vol. 1, an AR fundraiser/compilation CD featuring acts such as Olivia Tremor Control, Built to Spill and Pere Ubu. Barsamian’s found a way to make intellectualism pay.

Kathleen Brooker, the president of Historic Denver, has had some successes over the years. But when it came to downtown, she, along with the rest of the good guys, often lost out. So Brooker tackled the problem head on and proposed that the city establish a downtown historic district that would prevent the destruction of significant buildings. Instead of fighting with owners who opposed the district, she focused on working with those who endorsed it, including such enlightened developers as David Cohen and Evan Makovsky. Eventually, inclusion in the district became a kind of status symbol, and owners clamored to get on board. And late last year, Brooker’s dream came true with the creation of the Downtown Denver Historic District, which assures some of the city’s best buildings of a happy future.

After the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, the U.S. General Services Administration began exploring ways to make its properties more “user-friendly.” Denver’s Byron G. Rogers Federal Building and Courthouse was one of the first in line, and the GSA’s original plans for the facility included demolition of the courtyard and trashing of the Edgar Britton-designed bronze sunscreen. Thankfully, the Colorado Historical Society’s Dale Heckendorn reminded the GSA that the 1960s complex, by local luminary James Sudler, had been identified by Historic Denver as one of the city’s most significant examples of modern architecture. Oops! To its credit, the GSA has come up with new plans that will enhance, rather than destroy, the elegant original.

The Capitol Heights Apartments, designed by Denver’s Studio Completiva and developed by Bruce Heitler, has just risen on what had been one of the bleakest vacant lots in Capitol Hill. The design is sharp, with retro-modern flourishes here and there, such as a striking porte cochere and tutti-frutti-colored walls. Naysayers may point out that the materials aren’t as fine as the design — but that simply proves that just because cheap materials like synthetic stucco are used, it doesn’t mean the results have to be ugly.

Joe Williams, who’s been around this market since time immemorial, has honed his shtick to perfection on The Fan. The self-proclaimed “Voice of Reason” is a cranky, crotchety, argumentative blast from the past who makes up half of what can be a fine old-style comedy team. (Credit Irv Brown for providing the other half.)

Former Bronco and current Denver Post columnist Reggie Rivers recently had his airtime halved; his 3-7 p.m. weekday program on KHOW now ends two hours earlier. And that’s a shame, because while his transition to a drive-time host wasn’t entirely smooth, he’s developed into an interesting and thoughtful presence who’s much more willing than the vast majority of his colleagues to hear out callers with opinions that differ from his.

On the second floor of the Denver Club Building, the Eisenhower Chapel is a perfect place for busy business types to escape the noise and motion of downtown: to pray, to meditate, to read or to just eat lunch while sitting on one of the long pews. The non-sectarian refuge, established by the Lions Club in 1955, is open to the public from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.; bring your own thoughts.

The Greg Thunder and Bo Reynolds tandem, formerly heard on Alice during the afternoon shift, is a significant improvement over Jamie White and Danny Bonaduce, who are slated to return to Denver airwaves later this year on KTCL. Thunder and Reynolds offer up jokey, relationship-oriented talk and comedy à la White and Bonaduce, but they do so in a more accessible, less insulting way. A major upgrade, and a boost to a market desperately in need of new radio stars.

The El Jebel Shrine Temple was designed in 1906 by the Baerresen brothers, Denver’s kookiest early architects. The Shrine is a former Masonic temple, but it looks like an Arabian Nights fantasy plopped smack-dab in the middle of Capitol Hill. And like many good things in Denver, it’s been in danger of falling into the hands of developers who would just as soon demolish it as cherish it. But now Denver developers Wes Becker and Martin Wohnlich may be coming to the rescue. They recently paid $3.9 million — a steal considering all the barrel vaults and gold-painted plaster work inside — to buy the building (the former home of the Eulipions theater group), with plans to preserve the many gorgeous interior spaces. To do so, though, they need the money that would be generated by building a fifty-story tower on what is now a parking lot next door to the temple. And they’ve taken a sensible, sensitive approach to that, too: They’ve already hired local architect David Owen Tryba to design the tower and supervise the restoration of the old building.

Lynn Carey’s work ethic, which she displays weekdays on Channel 7 and a slew of radio stations, including the Peak, KDKO, KNUS and Boulder’s KWAB, was honed in area restaurants. She spent twenty years working as a waitress at such places as McCormick’s Fish House & Bar and Dixons Downtown Grille (she still subs at the Edgewater Inn on occasion), and she brings a waitperson’s mentality to the traffic beat. In other words, she does her best to fill every order and gets the information to customers while it’s hot.

Construction of a wildly fanciful wing for the Denver Art Museum, designed by architectural superstar Daniel Libeskind, is about to get under way just south of the museum. Although its unconventional structure has been likened to a plane crash, this wing will surely be one of the best buildings in town. Almost as remarkable as the Libeskind design is that DAM director Lewis Sharp was savvy enough to have guided the commissioning process, allowing overlapping committees to have their say but also making sure that the existing Gio Ponti museum building was protected.

Drew Soicher, the wiseacre brother of Channel 4’s Marc Soicher, has a nicely jaded sense of humor, which he exhibits both during newscasts (love his witty “Drew or False” feature) and while reporting. In one memorable package, he tried to patch up the differences between two warring hockey players by telling each that his counterpart wanted to get to know him better. The players involved didn’t get the joke, but the audience sure did.

For decades, the downtown YMCA has offered low-cost housing both for people just passing through and for those trying to turn their lives around right here in Denver. And so last year, when the Y announced it would be selling the building in order to help finance needed renovations of its fitness facilities, many feared that housing would be converted into high-end lofts or offices. But then the Y agreed to sell the structure to the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless, which will renovate the 189 rooms, continue to offer them to the public, and also allow the 95-year-old YMCA to rehab its recreation facilities. This is one real estate deal that includes something rare in the development world: a social conscience.

It seemed like such a good idea six months and 2,000 stock-market points ago: Give the cities along the Front Range one marketable identity that would give Silicon Valley a run for its money. But since the fall of 2000, that money has disappeared faster than your average Denver worker at 4 p.m. on a Friday, and today the entire Convergence Corridor looks like one big booster boondoggle. Better to pay a local advertising company a boatload — and the boosters did — to promote our high-altitude fun than to market our high-tech potential. As another area that’s been Silicon-jobbed might warn of catering to the wrong companies: Boeing, Boeing, gone!

The ratings at Channel 9 have dipped since the departures of longtimers Ed Sardella and Ron Zappolo, but the station’s ten o’clock newscast remains the area’s most most popular — and Jim Benemann is a big reason why. Sardella left big shoes to fill, but Benemann slipped into them quite comfortably. He’s not flashy, just companionable and extremely watchable.

Even when KMGH anchor Sean McLaughlin is delivering the latest headlines, his extremely prominent smackers — which look like the result of several hundred successful collagen treatments — seem ready for a smooch. Pucker up.

Best hair. And best cheekbones. And best eyes. And best wardrobe. And — well, you get the picture. Libby Weaver is so astoundingly telegenic that it’s a wonder the other anchors in town haven’t hired Tonya Harding to make sure at least one part of her anatomy looks less than perfect.

For those Denverites who are vigilant about land use and transportation planning, lutac.org is the place to vent about everything from traffic to zoning to affordable housing. The site, which was created by Brian Brainerd and is hosted by the Upper Larimer Neighborhood Association, encourages public dialogue — polite, please — about the city’s Land Use and Transportation Plan (currently under development, and set for release this spring) as well as other hot topics; postings include letters, comments, documents and downright rants from the neighborhood. It’s the 21st-century equivalent of the town crier. While talk is cheap, Web postings can be very valuable to the public discourse.

Don’t get us wrong: We’re as sick as you are of Shagman (both the original and his replacement and the original who’s back again), Audra, Officer O’Dell and the whole Rocky’s Autos commercial crew, including those Detroit hitmen who took forever to get to Denver in this winter’s tedious series. That’s why Rocky’s holiday commercial, which consisted of thirty seconds of a babbling brook and a simple written greeting from Rocky’s Autos, came as such a welcome, blessed relief. (A confession: We’re also partial to the current Rocky’s Autos ad that stars former Westword scribe John Ashton as an attorney who puts Shagman on trial.)

When they needed a model American town for Main Street, USA, Disneyland’s designers looked to Old Town in Fort Collins. But Disney was willing to return the favor, in the form of the Big Cowboy who’s stood over Federal Boulevard for almost fifty years. In 1955, sculptor John Sutton, who’d done much of the early work at Disneyland, stopped off in Colorado and created the giant fiberglass cowboy guarding the Rustic Ranch trailer park (as well as a frog in Rocky Mountain Park) before moving on to even greater works at the Bronx Zoo. Ride ’em, cowboy.

Denver mayor Wellington Webb has deftly navigated one crisis after another over the past year, and Andrew Hudson, his public mouthpiece, is a big part of the reason why. He’s Denver’s most effective spin doctor, and the source of more news in this city than most journalists would care to admit.

If you want to see how Denver transformed itself from a high-plains cactus patch into the West’s leading cowtown, grab a bicycle and head for the South Platte River trail. Start at Chatfield Dam, built after the devastating flood of 1965, which created a crucial water source for the metro area. Heading north toward downtown, you’ll pass acres of suburban bluegrass lawns soaking up enough of that water to float a cruise ship. Make a pit stop at Colorado’s Ocean Journey, where you can witness an even more extravagant use of water to support sharks, tigers and assorted other creatures that were never meant to live here. Finally, just over the Adams County line, you’ll come to the Metro Wastewater treatment plan, where a frothy waterfall cascades into the river and the abuse of the South Platte reaches a smelly finale. Bottoms up!

On World AIDS Day last December, the Denver Health and Hospitals Authority began posting messages in public restrooms around town that promoted male and female condoms — conveniently available through DHHA. The campaign, called Prevention Option for Women: Equal Rights (POWER), was aimed at young women at risk for HIV/AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. “Minds have a tendency to open up behind closed doors,” said campaign spokeswoman Sheana Bull, “and ironically public restrooms offer a very unique private environment.”

Technically, the downstairs restrooms in the century-old Oxford Hotel are not intended for the public — but they’re just too lovely not to share with the world. Although the smaller bathrooms that you reach through McCormick’s Fish House are nice enough, the real winners are below the hotel lobby. And while the women’s bathroom is spacious, well-stocked and boasts acres of vintage Victorian tile, the men’s room can claim magnificent marble urinals — the very vessels that Bat Masterson is rumored to have emptied his, er, weapon into. To pee or not to pee? That’s no question when you’re in the vicinity of the Oxford. Just walk in like you own the place, head downstairs and have a seat.

We accept that Alfred Packer is Colorado’s most famous cannibal — but do we have to label him a cold-blooded murderer, too? David Bailey doesn’t think so, and the evidence seems to be mounting in his favor. Using sophisticated imaging technology, a team from Mesa State College uncovered bits of lead that could support Packer’s contention that he shot one of his traveling companions in self-defense after the other man had hatcheted the rest of the party to death in 1874. (Okay, and then Packer gnawed on a few of them.) The fruits of Bailey’s labors could be a sweet-tasting victory for historic accuracy.

When the Vail Marketing Board wanted to attract summer tourists last year, it created an advertising campaign that featured photographs of a playground in Portland, Oregon.

After polling congressional staffers, Washingtonian magazine last fall named Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell, a resident of the southern Colorado town of Ignacio, Capitol Hill’s top “Fashion Victim.” What, they don’t like bolo ties, big belt buckles and leather chaps inside the Beltway?

Gale Norton didn’t want to be a character in Doonesbury, even one who remained both unseen and unheard. But cartoonist Garry Trudeau got Washington talking when he lampooned Colorado’s former attorney general, a surprise appointment to the Bush cabinet. During Norton’s confirmation hearings before the Senate — where the libertarian-turned-Republican declared herself a “passionate conservationist” who could ably serve as Secretary of the Interior — Trudeau labeled her a “pin-up girl for companies accused of plundering the environment.” Queried one cartoon senator: “You mean ‘poster girl’?” “No, no,” replied the caricature of a Texas oilman (as if that weren’t redundant). “They really do want to get in bed with her.”

Information, please! When reporters have a question, the House Democrats Press Office comes up with the answer — quickly, competently and completely. Thanks for the memories, guys.

Designed as a retreat from the noise of the city, downtown Denver’s newest park promises to be a favorite gathering place, with paths leading down to the edge of the South Platte River and a grove of cottonwoods surrounding a lush wetland. But the real surprise is on top of a rise at the center of Commons Park. Sunk into the earth is a stone directional marker that’s intended to help you tell east from west — but really looks like a piece of Stonehenge that’s miraculously appeared along the Platte. Since the blocks of black granite are hidden from view, this is an ideal spot for getting frisky with your love or offering sacrifices to the gods.

Can’t tell if that blouse fits just right? Wondering if those pants sag a little in the butt? Just ask one of the ladies next to you in the Loehmann’s dressing room — there should be plenty of them. Rather than offer individual stalls, this popular discount designer clothing store simply has one big cavern where everyone from teenagers, pregnant ladies and grandmothers gathers amid the furnitire, spare clothing racks and mannequins like one big, happy, naked family. Sure, it’s a little embarrassing when you realize you’re wearing threadbare panties purchased in 1988, but that’s a small sacrifice considering the bargains — and the chance to check out the competition. Now, could you help me with this zipper?

On warm spring, summer and fall days, the Cherry Creek Trail is where Denver goes to disrobe. Between the joggers, skaters, bicyclists and occasional waders, you’re bound to see some skin. Best viewing spots include Confluence Park and the parks behind the Cherry Creek Shopping Center. The latter even includes a small beach where hunks and hunkettes sun themselves, and the grassy hills and terraces make fine outposts for an afternoon of discreet ogling.

Ladies who lunch have to leave their cars somewhere, and valet parking at the Cherry Creek Shopping Center is the preferred spot to drop off the Lexus or Range Rover. Between shopping, eating out and going in for plastic surgery, these Denver dames lead busy lives, so a strapping young lad looking to improve his lot has to know when to make his move. What better time than while bored women wait for their cars? Feign an interest in shopping, and make sure to compliment her good taste. Offer to help carry her bags, and you may get more than just a tip.

In a December 24 article about the Denver Broncos’ final game at Mile High Stadium, News staff writer Robert Sanchez summed up the feelings of loyal fans in the South Stands with this simple, to-the-point start: “Drunken men cried Saturday.”

To the chagrin of her editors, reporter/columnist Lynn Bartels wrote in an October 1 piece that the prose in a “how-to tome for incoming lawmakers” by the Office of Legislative Legal Services was “so technical and boring it reads like the Denver Post.”

All those naysayers who worried that term limits would fill the Colorado Legislature with a bunch of clueless newcomers should get a clue themselves. Colorado’s freshman class of lawmakers is the most impressive bunch that the General Assembly has seen in years: confident, hardworking, and fully capable of helping lead Colorado into the future.

It’s not easy being rich. There are expensive cars to buy, blobs of caviar to eat, old friends to ignore. So how does the aspiring millionaire learn how to live up to his Diamond Jim destiny? In school, of course — specifically, the University of Denver, which last year made “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” one of its seventy freshmen seminars. Professor Robert Mills offered students their choice of several millionaire lifestyles, then reported on how they would live them out. The one-credit class was one of seventy freshman seminars intended to keep students interested in school. Now, about that financial aid.

WB2Day is a work in progress, to put it politely, but that hasn’t stopped Dan Daru from developing into an entertaining wild card. He’s twisted, unpredictable and funny — and deserves all the attention, as well as slack-jawed stares, that he’s received.

We include the phone number only as a courtesy, in case you’re considering a career as a public servant. But be warned: Dialing it could cost you up to $500 an hour, the going rate for the top partners at The Firm. Still, that’s a small investment if you have an eye on a position in a presidential cabinet — Democratic or Republican. Former Denver mayor Federico Peña hadn’t been with the law firm of Brownstein, Hyatt, Farber (and then) Strickland for six months when he got an emergency call from Bill Clinton in December 1992 to become Secretary of Transportation (Peña later served as Secretary of Energy, too). And the process repeated itself this past December, when lawyer/lobbyist Gale Norton was tapped from the firm to join George W. Bush’s administration as Secretary of the Interior. (As for the missing Strickland, his name came off the firm’s stationery when he became the U.S. Attorney for Colorado — a position the Democrat had to surrender shortly after Bush’s election.)

Morning newscasts are all about balance; they should provide information about important matters yet keep the overall presentation light enough to give viewers a reason to get on with their day. Channel 4 has the mix just about right, thanks to the steady Kathy Soltero, the eccentric Jim Hooley, tightly wound sportscaster Mark McIntosh and weather everyman Dave Aguilera.

There may not have been enough money in the budget to furnish it, but there’s no denying that the King Center, smack in the middle of Auraria, is a beautiful building. Constructed in raw concrete, glass and red brick, it works perfectly with the rest of the campus. The center is by AR7 Hoover Desmond Architects, with Ranko Ruzic serving as the principal designer; interior specialists Semple Brown Design did the performing-arts portions. The design features many cutting-edge elements, not the least of which is the deconstructivist handling of the gateway around the entrance. But the building is also cutting-edge from the standpoint of handicap accessibility: Even the theater’s catwalks are open to wheelchair users, which makes the King Center the best arts facility in the world for people with disabilities.

The long-suffering voice of the Denver Nuggets manages to remain on an even keel when the team is playing over its collective head, as well as when it’s failing to meet expectations (a much more common scenario). Jerry Schemmel’s no-muss-no-fuss delivery and the matter-of-fact tone he uses when expressing his opinions may be the main reason fans of the sub-par squad haven’t yet leapt off the nearest cliff.

Heading down Blake Street, you may do a double take when you spot the brand-new, red-and-blond-brick 16 Market Square, designed by Hartman Cox, along with Quinlivan Pierik & Krause and David Owen Tryba. “Did they move the Sugar Building?” you might ask. Or worse: “Am I heading the wrong way down Wazee Street?” Actually, the new building is only reminiscent of its older neighbor in terms of color, size and corner location: The Sugar Building was modern for its time, but 16 Market Square is traditional for its era. Despite its antique veneer, the building features state-of-the-art, 21st-century amenities. It’s also a nice addition to the neighborhood.

One of the first major buildings to be constructed in the central business district in fifteen years is now rising toward the sky. The federal courthouse annex, at 19th and Champa streets, is meant to relieve crowding at the adjacent federal courthouse — but it also serves as an impressive contribution to downtown. The new building responds well to the older one: Like the original federal courthouse, the annex has an elegant design — although this one joins a finely detailed tower to a massive horizontal block. Conceived by resident modernist Ron Mason, a partner in the Denver firm of Anderson Mason Dale (with Hellmuth, Obata & Kassabaum serving as associate architects), the annex is destined to be among the city’s best high-rises.

The thinking man’s sports yakker, Sandy Clough has such a proclivity for multisyllabic discourse that the weekday morning show he co-hosts with Mike Evans frequently offers “The Sandy Clough Word of the Day” as a way for listeners to pump up their word power. Granted, Clough can be overbearing, but he’s also serious and incisive, and provides a welcome contrast to the typical dumb-jock babble of all too many sports-talk shows.

Former Denver Bronco Mark Schlereth, the man who’s had more knee surgeries than any other human, has been filling in semi-regularly for Dave Logan on The Sports Zoo, KOA’s afternoon-drive staple, and is proving to be just as reliable off the field as he was on. He’s an amusing lug who doesn’t mind making fun of himself or others when the occasion warrants. The guy’s got a future behind the microphone — a career that, fortunately, won’t do any more damage to his patellas.

Rick Lewis and Michael Floorwax, who’ve held down the a.m. slot at the Fox for over ten years, survived a full frontal assault from Howard Stern, who was torn from the market in brusque fashion. Today they remain Denver’s favorite rude boys. Or, at this point, rude geezers.

Inside a golden atrium of rectangular windows and ornate woodwork, more than 5,000 feet above sea level and 93 steps above the third floor of the State Capitol Building, you’ll find the best panoramic views of Denver and beyond — way beyond. On a clear day, you can see Pikes Peak, Lookout Mountain and practically all the way to Kansas from the Dome. You’ll also find tour guide Ted Polito, who dispenses trivia, historical brochures and personal anecdotes five days a week. Ted has Down’s syndrome, but that hasn’t stopped him from becoming one of the state government’s most reliable, entertaining employees. He dresses like a cowboy for his job, and when he’s not offering up tidbits about Colorado’s past, he’s practicing to become the future Garth Brooks. High above Denver, surrounded by blue sky and sunlight, he’s on top of the world.

If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

Most of the new buildings in LoDo are little more than three-dimensional wallpaper that blends into the background. But every once in a while, an inspired designer comes up with an idea that is compatible with Lower Downtown Historic District requirements and also stands on its own as architecture. Such is the case with the Millennium Building, which was built with remarkable speed in a former parking lot. This postmodern edifice, by Denver architects Parkhill-Ivins, shows a real eye to detail; for example, it’s faced in brick that has been laid in fancy patterns — clearly a response to its historic neighbors. Sure, LoDo needs parking — but it needs good-looking buildings such as this one even more.

Marty Coniglio is a reliable presence on Channel 7’s underappreciated evening newscast, and a generally accurate one. Better yet, he seems more interested in offering information about the latest weather conditions than in showing off every technical gizmo in his arsenal.

Sitting dramatically on a rise above West 120th Avenue — and just across from Chili’s — is the stunning Avaya Communications building. The work of world-famous Connecticut architects Kevin Roche and John Dinkeloo, the Avaya is clad in no less than a dozen kinds and colors of glass. Its most distinctive feature, though, is a 300-foot ocular atrium set on a diagonal (which yokels have mistaken for a satellite dish). The building is a real coup for Westminster, perhaps the last place you’d expect to find Colorado’s first great architectural work of the 21st century.

National media outlets long ago shifted their attention to more catastrophe-ridden states (after all, the networks couldn’t show that clip of JonBenét forever), but Colorado still sets the pace for the rest of the country. That’s because the National Institute of Standards and Technology, the hundred-year-old independent agency that started out as the National Bureau of Standards, has a laboratory in Boulder that maintains the nation’s atomic clocks. Got the time? You will if you check time.gov, as fifty million others do every day.

It’s hard to be a saint in the city, and even harder to hang in the ‘burbs. So Highlands Ranch teens decided to go underground — literally. But now that county workers have exposed local storm drains sporting graffiti, beer cans, candles and other evidence of adolescent occupation, the hip factor of these hideouts has gone into the sewer. Where next? The missile silos on the plains were uncovered years ago…

Less than two years since she arrived in Denver from a TV stint in Miami, KCNC anchor Theresa Marchetta has established herself as a take-no-crap news reader with a straightforward style and an aversion to the usual lowest-common-denominator approach. Even a series of reports on her own treatment for thyroid cancer — the sort of story that could easily have been played as melodrama — were clear-eyed and watchable. Television needs more anchors like her.

There aren’t many mustaches on TV, period, so give Greg Moody credit for growing the proudest, bushiest one imaginable — like Groucho Marx’s, except this one’s made from follicles, not greasepaint.

It had to happen. After LoDo filled up with sports bars and law offices, one seedy old Denver neighborhood after another has been renovated and, in the process, emptied of the artists and low-rent inhabitants who gave each area a unique flavor. And now the bohemian crowd has discovered yet another new homeland where the rents are cheap and the liquor flows — and it just happens to be in the suburb that endured years of ridicule as a soulless collection of subdivisions. The action is centered on East Colfax Avenue, which boasts a collection of buildings dating from the 1940s and 1950s — and

that qualifies as historic in Aurora. The area has struggled for years to find an identity; the addition of dozens of frazzled artists from the city is sure to shake those Stepford wives wide awake.

The hippest man in local TV, Phil Keating, also has the hippest hair — a variation on the messy look that allows a strand or two to snake down over his forehead in a pleasingly post-coital way. Watch him in bed for an extra thrill.

Growth is a hot topic in Colorado these days. But when it comes to knowing and abiding by basic land-use laws, some of those who are most concerned about growth seem to be the most clueless. To help prevent lawsuits and shootouts, a pair of attorney/mediators from southwestern Colorado, Nancy Greif and Erin Johnson, held a “good neighbor” seminar in Durango a couple of years ago — and the response was so overwhelming that they’ve since written a book. With chapters contributed by 37 different land-use experts and a recurring character called Colorado Red, The Good Neighbor Guidebook for Colorado covers such topics as caring for your property responsibly, geo-hazards, dealing with various levels of government and, when all else fails, using the Colorado courts. The guidebooks sells for $27.95 in bookstores and online at www.goodneighborguide.com. Won’t you be our neighbor?

Former RTD chair and current Independence Institute head Jon Caldara has wrangled more air time and ink for his conservative causes — not to mention himself — than any other politico in town. That’s because he not only understands the media, he’s willing to feed the beast — anytime and anywhere. Reporters and editors may not all agree with Caldara’s viewpoints, but they give him an opportunity to espouse them for a simple reason: He isn’t dull.

When an amusement complex’s very name acknowledges that it’s in the Boondocks — in this case, deepest, darkest Northglenn — it deserves a fitting monument. Something impressive. Something for the ages. Something like a life-sized replica of Utah’s Delicate Arch — which, instead of spanning stunning red-rocks country, here rises 54 feet above a parking lot just off I-25 alongside the brand-spanking-new Boondocks Fun Center. It’s impressive, all right — just the sort of symbol that tells you to slam on the breaks for video games and French fries. But what’s even more noteworthy about the arch is that this isn’t the first one the fun center’s owners have built: A Boondocks in Boise boasts an identical landmark.

During husband Wellington Webb’s ten years (and counting) as Denver’s mayor, Wilma Webb was always by his side — even when she was doing double duty as regional secretary of the Department of Labor. As the self-proclaimed First Lady of Denver, she’s seen it all — and no doubt said it all to Wellington, weighing in on the city’s civic and cultural affairs. Isn’t it time for the power behind the throne to take a seat? And we’re not talking Diana DeGette’s congressional seat, which Wilma reportedly is eyeing. The Queen City needs a Queen. All hail Her Honor.

Denver city councilman Dennis Gallagher knew that politics could stink; he just didn’t know how bad — not until he attended a high school graduation party in Denver’s Rocky Mountain Park and was shocked to find raw sewage backed up in the bathroom. And so last year, Gallagher named himself outhouse overlord for the privies in Denver’s parks. Since then, he’s investigated public restrooms in a number of parks and put pressure on the city’s Department of Parks and Recreation to clean up its act in other ways. Just call him number one on number two.

The clouds are lifting, and sunshine is teasing you through the tiny window in your fluorescently lit office. It’s time to grab your sack lunch — or a jumbo dog from the cart at the corner of 13th Avenue and Broadway — and head for the haven of solar-heated brick and concrete that stretches between the main branch of the Denver Public Library and the Denver Art Museum. This is no ordinary relaxation spot, though. It’s a cultural courtyard where you can check out a literary tome from the library or just lean back and admire the funky sculptures around you. Whatever you do here, it’s sure to provide a refreshing bit of inspiration to your harried work day.

You might well wonder why Denver is the first American city to have a trade office in China; we certainly have. Nonetheless, Mayor Wellington Webb recently took a fifty-member entourage on a trade mission to Shanghai — despite the fact that local companies doing business with China already have offices there and thus don’t need Denver taxpayers to subsidize them; despite the fact that the Chinese have the most abysmal human-rights record on slavery; and despite the fact that Webb really has plenty to occupy him back here in Denver. There can only be one explanation: With his third term almost up and a Washington, D.C., post in the George W. Bush White House looking less likely, it’s time for our mayor to go global. As Ambassador to China, Wellington would truly be the World Wide Webb.

If power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely — what about absolute power with big bucks behind it? Gee, that’s a question for Lt. Fineprint, Disclosure Detective, who stars in the “Knowledge Is Power” comic book released last

election season by the Bighorn Center for Public Policy. “When you’re proud of something,” the think tank points out, “you put your name on it.” Rutt Bridges certainly does: He makes no secret of the fact that he funds the new, Denver-based think tank. But the political operatives behind much of the dirty-tricks campaigning last fall weren’t nearly as forthcoming; they took advantage of Colorado’s “educational” committee loophole to launch anonymous attacks on certain candidates. “These are all created by people or organizations who want to influence the outcome of the election without telling you exactly who they are,” Lt. Fineprint notes.

This spring, the tiny town of Rico — 28 miles south of Telluride and population 140 — rated a five-page layout in National Geographic. Under the headline “Make No Mistake About It, This Is NOT Telluride,” the magazine emphasized Rico’s colorful past as a silver-mining town and current pleasures as a small town — for now. We don’t know whether to thank the National Geographic photographer who stumbled on the sleepy town of Rico and exposed it to the rest of the world — or tar and feather him.

Lee Casey wrote for the Rocky Mountain News in the early 1900s, back in the days when columnists were often far more interesting than the events they chronicled. Casey, for example, was so renowned for his peculiar behavior that he was rumored to be the model for the lead character in Harvey, Mary Chase’s play about a fellow whose best friend is an imaginary, six-foot-tall rabbit. But it was in death that Casey’s true eccentric nature emerged: He wanted his ashes interred within the walls of the Rocky Mountain News building. They were, and when the tabloid moved to fancy new digs on Colfax Avenue over a decade ago, Casey moved with the paper. Today his remains are still contained within the lobby walls, and there they will stay — despite the fact that the building now bears a placard announcing that it’s the home of the Denver Newspaper Agency, the managing entity of the joint operating agreement between the News and the Denver Post. Casey must be turning over in his you-know-what.

When President Bill Clinton was inaugurated in 1993, Vail’s Precision Lawn Chair Demonstration Team only got to perform at a warm-up event — and Clinton was a party boy. But at George W. Bush’s inauguration, the sixteen-year-old Vail troupe was front and center in the actual parade, sporting shorts in the frigid D.C. weather, twirling lawn chairs like batons and rating raves from the crowd. These boys don’t take a back seat to anyone.

It’s not easy staying in touch with your state when it includes 63 (64, once Broomfield’s up and running) counties that stretch over thousands of square miles. But Wayne Allard, the Republican veterinarian who’s soon to complete his first term in the Senate, knows that it’s important to make house calls. Every year since his 1996 election, he’s made it a point to visit every county in Colorado to meet with his constituents. You could say he’s driven.

Kids getting a little cranky on that long car ride? Stop by one of the three rest areas along the Colorado River just east of Glenwood Springs, and let them watch the rafters rushing by. If they’re really antsy, tell them to walk along the river to the next rest stop, where you’ll pick them up. Maybe.

Whew! Our temperature started rising the second we caught a glimpse of the 2001 Denver Metro Firefighter Calendar, a fundraising deal for the Children’s Hospital Burn Center. And since it was such a good cause, we felt it was our duty to buy a couple of calendars to share with friends so we could all appreciate the sacrifices that local firefighters had made for charity. Why, some even gave the photographer the shirts off their backs! Although Denver’s fire chief may have quibbled that it wasn’t proper for the buff firefighters to pose so provocatively, these hotties sure got us going. Burn, baby, burn!

Although employees of Burks Communications, a PR firm on the fourth floor of the Trinity Building, would just as soon the Brown Palace across the street tint its windows, they’ve had some fun over the years watching naked patrons of the chichi hotel get in and out of their unmentionables. “Butts at the Brown,” says company president and CEO Susan Burks. “That’s what I call it. We have the best view of butts. I think the men enjoy doing it the most. They keep those blinds open. I know they see us looking — they can’t miss us. But some of those men’s bodies, I tell you…” Burks even calls her co-workers into the office for especially noteworthy rears. “I say, ‘Come look, here’s another one.'” Does she wish the Brown’s male patrons would close their blinds? “In some cases,” she says. “Not all.”

Rich men like steaks, butter and martinis, which is why ambitious girls looking to strike gold should head to Ruth’s Chris Steak House. The challenge is to be sexy but not trashy, so add a string of pearls or a tasteful scarf to your tightest skirt, tallest heels and teeniest top. Slide up to the bar and act innocent — like you were waiting to meet your sorority sister and got stood up — and don’t forget to bat your eyelashes. If you can avoid the temptation to chow down on the high-calorie grub, you may find yourself walking down the aisle. Or at least being chatted up by the valets.

Ne’er-do-wells in the know hurry over to the Denver Pavilions whenever the weather looks bad; by the time the Denver Pavilions 15 opens for its first matinees, drunks, bums and other homeless types are ready to buy their tickets. But just one ticket each, mind you. Since the management never really checks to make sure customers leave the theater after the movie they paid for to watch is over, many a vagrant passes the day enjoying a dozen of the latest first-run selections. But free films aren’t just for shiftless hobos anymore, so join the lineup at 11:30 a.m.

Quit the funny business! The newspaper war’s over, and the terms of the settlement make readers the undisputed victors in one area: comics. Come April, the Denver Post will boast the largest Sunday comics section in the country, since it’s adding the Rocky Mountain News‘s former lineup to its own on that day. (The News will return the favor by running the Post‘s comics on Saturday — but those aren’t the big, four-color Sunday funnies.) You might not give a hoot about Willy ‘n’ Ethel, much less that fusspot Nancy. But for many readers, comic strips are the most important part of their Sunday paper — and they complain long and hard whenever the dailies fool around with them. Now, though, it won’t be a matter of one paper stealing Garfield from the other — they’ll share weekend custody of the curmudgeonly cat. But since the Post won the right to print the town’s only Sunday rag, that’s where you’ll find the lollapalooza of laughs — everything from A (Annie, Little Orphan) to Z (Zippy the Pinhead). It’s double the pleasure, double the funnies.

In a September 18 column, Chuck Green, who’s done more crowing about the Post‘s JOA victory than anyone this side of Dean Singleton, wrote that he’d never considered switching to the Rocky Mountain News during his time in newspapering for a simple reason: “Why work for a bunch of liars and thieves when you can fight on the side of goodness and virtue — and come out the winner, too?”

In October, the Denver Post was struck by a flood of gaffes — and in an effort to stem the flow, staffers assembled to discuss the problem. After that meeting, managing editor for news Larry Burrough thanked attendees for their contributions to the session with an e-mail. The rub? The memo itself contained several errors, including the sentence, “It is notably that most of the mistakes were avoidable, that is to say that many of the mistake were about information we’ve written about before.” Explains a lot, doesn’t it?

One evening early this legislative session, former state representative and current lobbyist Betty Neale was stopped at the State Capitol by a patrolman who thought she looked suspicious — but, hey, she’s a lobbyist! To save Neale (and its own bureaucratic self) from future embarrassments, the Colorado State Patrol subsequently issued Neale a tag that makes her status official: “The Honorable Betty Neale, former state representative, City and County of Denver — Official Loitering Pass.”

It’s no surprise that Tom Green, the best writer among area sportscasters, has announced that he’s leaving Channel 7 in a matter of months; when a program is ratings-challenged, as this one is, the team that puts it together tends to fragment. And that’s unfortunate in this case, since the structure of KMGH’s ten o’clock newscast is sound, its reports are ambitious, anchors Ann Trujillo and Mitch Jelniker are the best in town at getting out of the way of a story, and Green and weathercaster Marty Coniglio are very good at what they do. Catch them while you can.

Nearing completion on the University of Denver campus is the glitzy Alan Gerry Cable Telecommunications Building, which will house the National Cable Television Center and Museum, a nonprofit institution that’s the brainchild of the late Bob Magness, founder of Telecommunications Inc. Any new building would have needed a distinctive look in order to stand up to the visually emphatic Ritchie Center so close by; luckily, this cable complex qualifies. Denver’s RNL Design is responsible for the quirky structure, with its rusticated stone and eyeball windows; appropriately enough, it looks like something out of The Flintstones. And the building’s future is secure — already the museum has attracted tens of millions of dollars in donations. After all, those cable moguls can afford the best.

Interviewer David Barsamian has turned the oddest of specialties — interviews with liberal thinkers such as Noam Chomsky — into a genuine career and a national reputation. His Boulder-based program, Alternative Radio, is syndicated on public-radio stations from coast to coast, and it’s popularity among young tastemakers is exemplified by Keep Left, Vol. 1, an AR fundraiser/compilation CD featuring acts such as Olivia Tremor Control, Built to Spill and Pere Ubu. Barsamian’s found a way to make intellectualism pay.

Kathleen Brooker, the president of Historic Denver, has had some successes over the years. But when it came to downtown, she, along with the rest of the good guys, often lost out. So Brooker tackled the problem head on and proposed that the city establish a downtown historic district that would prevent the destruction of significant buildings. Instead of fighting with owners who opposed the district, she focused on working with those who endorsed it, including such enlightened developers as David Cohen and Evan Makovsky. Eventually, inclusion in the district became a kind of status symbol, and owners clamored to get on board. And late last year, Brooker’s dream came true with the creation of the Downtown Denver Historic District, which assures some of the city’s best buildings of a happy future.

After the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, the U.S. General Services Administration began exploring ways to make its properties more “user-friendly.” Denver’s Byron G. Rogers Federal Building and Courthouse was one of the first in line, and the GSA’s original plans for the facility included demolition of the courtyard and trashing of the Edgar Britton-designed bronze sunscreen. Thankfully, the Colorado Historical Society’s Dale Heckendorn reminded the GSA that the 1960s complex, by local luminary James Sudler, had been identified by Historic Denver as one of the city’s most significant examples of modern architecture. Oops! To its credit, the GSA has come up with new plans that will enhance, rather than destroy, the elegant original.

The Capitol Heights Apartments, designed by Denver’s Studio Completiva and developed by Bruce Heitler, has just risen on what had been one of the bleakest vacant lots in Capitol Hill. The design is sharp, with retro-modern flourishes here and there, such as a striking porte cochere and tutti-frutti-colored walls. Naysayers may point out that the materials aren’t as fine as the design — but that simply proves that just because cheap materials like synthetic stucco are used, it doesn’t mean the results have to be ugly.

Joe Williams, who’s been around this market since time immemorial, has honed his shtick to perfection on The Fan. The self-proclaimed “Voice of Reason” is a cranky, crotchety, argumentative blast from the past who makes up half of what can be a fine old-style comedy team. (Credit Irv Brown for providing the other half.)

Former Bronco and current Denver Post columnist Reggie Rivers recently had his airtime halved; his 3-7 p.m. weekday program on KHOW now ends two hours earlier. And that’s a shame, because while his transition to a drive-time host wasn’t entirely smooth, he’s developed into an interesting and thoughtful presence who’s much more willing than the vast majority of his colleagues to hear out callers with opinions that differ from his.

On the second floor of the Denver Club Building, the Eisenhower Chapel is a perfect place for busy business types to escape the noise and motion of downtown: to pray, to meditate, to read or to just eat lunch while sitting on one of the long pews. The non-sectarian refuge, established by the Lions Club in 1955, is open to the public from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.; bring your own thoughts.

The Greg Thunder and Bo Reynolds tandem, formerly heard on Alice during the afternoon shift, is a significant improvement over Jamie White and Danny Bonaduce, who are slated to return to Denver airwaves later this year on KTCL. Thunder and Reynolds offer up jokey, relationship-oriented talk and comedy à la White and Bonaduce, but they do so in a more accessible, less insulting way. A major upgrade, and a boost to a market desperately in need of new radio stars.

The El Jebel Shrine Temple was designed in 1906 by the Baerresen brothers, Denver’s kookiest early architects. The Shrine is a former Masonic temple, but it looks like an Arabian Nights fantasy plopped smack-dab in the middle of Capitol Hill. And like many good things in Denver, it’s been in danger of falling into the hands of developers who would just as soon demolish it as cherish it. But now Denver developers Wes Becker and Martin Wohnlich may be coming to the rescue. They recently paid $3.9 million — a steal considering all the barrel vaults and gold-painted plaster work inside — to buy the building (the former home of the Eulipions theater group), with plans to preserve the many gorgeous interior spaces. To do so, though, they need the money that would be generated by building a fifty-story tower on what is now a parking lot next door to the temple. And they’ve taken a sensible, sensitive approach to that, too: They’ve already hired local architect David Owen Tryba to design the tower and supervise the restoration of the old building.

Lynn Carey’s work ethic, which she displays weekdays on Channel 7 and a slew of radio stations, including the Peak, KDKO, KNUS and Boulder’s KWAB, was honed in area restaurants. She spent twenty years working as a waitress at such places as McCormick’s Fish House & Bar and Dixons Downtown Grille (she still subs at the Edgewater Inn on occasion), and she brings a waitperson’s mentality to the traffic beat. In other words, she does her best to fill every order and gets the information to customers while it’s hot.

Construction of a wildly fanciful wing for the Denver Art Museum, designed by architectural superstar Daniel Libeskind, is about to get under way just south of the museum. Although its unconventional structure has been likened to a plane crash, this wing will surely be one of the best buildings in town. Almost as remarkable as the Libeskind design is that DAM director Lewis Sharp was savvy enough to have guided the commissioning process, allowing overlapping committees to have their say but also making sure that the existing Gio Ponti museum building was protected.

Drew Soicher, the wiseacre brother of Channel 4’s Marc Soicher, has a nicely jaded sense of humor, which he exhibits both during newscasts (love his witty “Drew or False” feature) and while reporting. In one memorable package, he tried to patch up the differences between two warring hockey players by telling each that his counterpart wanted to get to know him better. The players involved didn’t get the joke, but the audience sure did.

For decades, the downtown YMCA has offered low-cost housing both for people just passing through and for those trying to turn their lives around right here in Denver. And so last year, when the Y announced it would be selling the building in order to help finance needed renovations of its fitness facilities, many feared that housing would be converted into high-end lofts or offices. But then the Y agreed to sell the structure to the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless, which will renovate the 189 rooms, continue to offer them to the public, and also allow the 95-year-old YMCA to rehab its recreation facilities. This is one real estate deal that includes something rare in the development world: a social conscience.

It seemed like such a good idea six months and 2,000 stock-market points ago: Give the cities along the Front Range one marketable identity that would give Silicon Valley a run for its money. But since the fall of 2000, that money has disappeared faster than your average Denver worker at 4 p.m. on a Friday, and today the entire Convergence Corridor looks like one big booster boondoggle. Better to pay a local advertising company a boatload — and the boosters did — to promote our high-altitude fun than to market our high-tech potential. As another area that’s been Silicon-jobbed might warn of catering to the wrong companies: Boeing, Boeing, gone!

The ratings at Channel 9 have dipped since the departures of longtimers Ed Sardella and Ron Zappolo, but the station’s ten o’clock newscast remains the area’s most most popular — and Jim Benemann is a big reason why. Sardella left big shoes to fill, but Benemann slipped into them quite comfortably. He’s not flashy, just companionable and extremely watchable.

Even when KMGH anchor Sean McLaughlin is delivering the latest headlines, his extremely prominent smackers — which look like the result of several hundred successful collagen treatments — seem ready for a smooch. Pucker up.

Best hair. And best cheekbones. And best eyes. And best wardrobe. And — well, you get the picture. Libby Weaver is so astoundingly telegenic that it’s a wonder the other anchors in town haven’t hired Tonya Harding to make sure at least one part of her anatomy looks less than perfect.

For those Denverites who are vigilant about land use and transportation planning, lutac.org is the place to vent about everything from traffic to zoning to affordable housing. The site, which was created by Brian Brainerd and is hosted by the Upper Larimer Neighborhood Association, encourages public dialogue — polite, please — about the city’s Land Use and Transportation Plan (currently under development, and set for release this spring) as well as other hot topics; postings include letters, comments, documents and downright rants from the neighborhood. It’s the 21st-century equivalent of the town crier. While talk is cheap, Web postings can be very valuable to the public discourse.

Don’t get us wrong: We’re as sick as you are of Shagman (both the original and his replacement and the original who’s back again), Audra, Officer O’Dell and the whole Rocky’s Autos commercial crew, including those Detroit hitmen who took forever to get to Denver in this winter’s tedious series. That’s why Rocky’s holiday commercial, which consisted of thirty seconds of a babbling brook and a simple written greeting from Rocky’s Autos, came as such a welcome, blessed relief. (A confession: We’re also partial to the current Rocky’s Autos ad that stars former Westword scribe John Ashton as an attorney who puts Shagman on trial.)

When they needed a model American town for Main Street, USA, Disneyland’s designers looked to Old Town in Fort Collins. But Disney was willing to return the favor, in the form of the Big Cowboy who’s stood over Federal Boulevard for almost fifty years. In 1955, sculptor John Sutton, who’d done much of the early work at Disneyland, stopped off in Colorado and created the giant fiberglass cowboy guarding the Rustic Ranch trailer park (as well as a frog in Rocky Mountain Park) before moving on to even greater works at the Bronx Zoo. Ride ’em, cowboy.

Denver mayor Wellington Webb has deftly navigated one crisis after another over the past year, and Andrew Hudson, his public mouthpiece, is a big part of the reason why. He’s Denver’s most effective spin doctor, and the source of more news in this city than most journalists would care to admit.

If you want to see how Denver transformed itself from a high-plains cactus patch into the West’s leading cowtown, grab a bicycle and head for the South Platte River trail. Start at Chatfield Dam, built after the devastating flood of 1965, which created a crucial water source for the metro area. Heading north toward downtown, you’ll pass acres of suburban bluegrass lawns soaking up enough of that water to float a cruise ship. Make a pit stop at Colorado’s Ocean Journey, where you can witness an even more extravagant use of water to support sharks, tigers and assorted other creatures that were never meant to live here. Finally, just over the Adams County line, you’ll come to the Metro Wastewater treatment plan, where a frothy waterfall cascades into the river and the abuse of the South Platte reaches a smelly finale. Bottoms up!

On World AIDS Day last December, the Denver Health and Hospitals Authority began posting messages in public restrooms around town that promoted male and female condoms — conveniently available through DHHA. The campaign, called Prevention Option for Women: Equal Rights (POWER), was aimed at young women at risk for HIV/AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. “Minds have a tendency to open up behind closed doors,” said campaign spokeswoman Sheana Bull, “and ironically public restrooms offer a very unique private environment.”

Technically, the downstairs restrooms in the century-old Oxford Hotel are not intended for the public — but they’re just too lovely not to share with the world. Although the smaller bathrooms that you reach through McCormick’s Fish House are nice enough, the real winners are below the hotel lobby. And while the women’s bathroom is spacious, well-stocked and boasts acres of vintage Victorian tile, the men’s room can claim magnificent marble urinals — the very vessels that Bat Masterson is rumored to have emptied his, er, weapon into. To pee or not to pee? That’s no question when you’re in the vicinity of the Oxford. Just walk in like you own the place, head downstairs and have a seat.

We accept that Alfred Packer is Colorado’s most famous cannibal — but do we have to label him a cold-blooded murderer, too? David Bailey doesn’t think so, and the evidence seems to be mounting in his favor. Using sophisticated imaging technology, a team from Mesa State College uncovered bits of lead that could support Packer’s contention that he shot one of his traveling companions in self-defense after the other man had hatcheted the rest of the party to death in 1874. (Okay, and then Packer gnawed on a few of them.) The fruits of Bailey’s labors could be a sweet-tasting victory for historic accuracy.

When the Vail Marketing Board wanted to attract summer tourists last year, it created an advertising campaign that featured photographs of a playground in Portland, Oregon.

After polling congressional staffers, Washingtonian magazine last fall named Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell, a resident of the southern Colorado town of Ignacio, Capitol Hill’s top “Fashion Victim.” What, they don’t like bolo ties, big belt buckles and leather chaps inside the Beltway?

Gale Norton didn’t want to be a character in Doonesbury, even one who remained both unseen and unheard. But cartoonist Garry Trudeau got Washington talking when he lampooned Colorado’s former attorney general, a surprise appointment to the Bush cabinet. During Norton’s confirmation hearings before the Senate — where the libertarian-turned-Republican declared herself a “passionate conservationist” who could ably serve as Secretary of the Interior — Trudeau labeled her a “pin-up girl for companies accused of plundering the environment.” Queried one cartoon senator: “You mean ‘poster girl’?” “No, no,” replied the caricature of a Texas oilman (as if that weren’t redundant). “They really do want to get in bed with her.”

Information, please! When reporters have a question, the House Democrats Press Office comes up with the answer — quickly, competently and completely. Thanks for the memories, guys.

Designed as a retreat from the noise of the city, downtown Denver’s newest park promises to be a favorite gathering place, with paths leading down to the edge of the South Platte River and a grove of cottonwoods surrounding a lush wetland. But the real surprise is on top of a rise at the center of Commons Park. Sunk into the earth is a stone directional marker that’s intended to help you tell east from west — but really looks like a piece of Stonehenge that’s miraculously appeared along the Platte. Since the blocks of black granite are hidden from view, this is an ideal spot for getting frisky with your love or offering sacrifices to the gods.

Can’t tell if that blouse fits just right? Wondering if those pants sag a little in the butt? Just ask one of the ladies next to you in the Loehmann’s dressing room — there should be plenty of them. Rather than offer individual stalls, this popular discount designer clothing store simply has one big cavern where everyone from teenagers, pregnant ladies and grandmothers gathers amid the furnitire, spare clothing racks and mannequins like one big, happy, naked family. Sure, it’s a little embarrassing when you realize you’re wearing threadbare panties purchased in 1988, but that’s a small sacrifice considering the bargains — and the chance to check out the competition. Now, could you help me with this zipper?

On warm spring, summer and fall days, the Cherry Creek Trail is where Denver goes to disrobe. Between the joggers, skaters, bicyclists and occasional waders, you’re bound to see some skin. Best viewing spots include Confluence Park and the parks behind the Cherry Creek Shopping Center. The latter even includes a small beach where hunks and hunkettes sun themselves, and the grassy hills and terraces make fine outposts for an afternoon of discreet ogling.

Ladies who lunch have to leave their cars somewhere, and valet parking at the Cherry Creek Shopping Center is the preferred spot to drop off the Lexus or Range Rover. Between shopping, eating out and going in for plastic surgery, these Denver dames lead busy lives, so a strapping young lad looking to improve his lot has to know when to make his move. What better time than while bored women wait for their cars? Feign an interest in shopping, and make sure to compliment her good taste. Offer to help carry her bags, and you may get more than just a tip.

In a December 24 article about the Denver Broncos’ final game at Mile High Stadium, News staff writer Robert Sanchez summed up the feelings of loyal fans in the South Stands with this simple, to-the-point start: “Drunken men cried Saturday.”

To the chagrin of her editors, reporter/columnist Lynn Bartels wrote in an October 1 piece that the prose in a “how-to tome for incoming lawmakers” by the Office of Legislative Legal Services was “so technical and boring it reads like the Denver Post.”

All those naysayers who worried that term limits would fill the Colorado Legislature with a bunch of clueless newcomers should get a clue themselves. Colorado’s freshman class of lawmakers is the most impressive bunch that the General Assembly has seen in years: confident, hardworking, and fully capable of helping lead Colorado into the future.

It’s not easy being rich. There are expensive cars to buy, blobs of caviar to eat, old friends to ignore. So how does the aspiring millionaire learn how to live up to his Diamond Jim destiny? In school, of course — specifically, the University of Denver, which last year made “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” one of its seventy freshmen seminars. Professor Robert Mills offered students their choice of several millionaire lifestyles, then reported on how they would live them out. The one-credit class was one of seventy freshman seminars intended to keep students interested in school. Now, about that financial aid.