Just so you know, growing up and being forced to grow up are not the same. Growing up is a natural process for women and some men that involves moving away from home, getting productive jobs, marrying and having kids, and stopping all of the immature nonsense you thought was…
To say the PS Lounge is just a dive bar is like saying a limo is just a car, or a lion is just a cat. There’s no question that the PS Lounge is a dive — but the fact is, it might be Denver’s greatest dive. It has everything…
For those of you interested in ridding your frat party, wedding reception or bar of unwanted guests, the Institute can no longer recommend sounding the fire alarm. When I was in college, though, this was a highly effective method. We’d had to sneak into a frat party because the dirty…
Heaven on the 27th floor? I can only imagine what it’s like to work in a hotel bar. On a good day, you’re dealing with some heavy hitter with a sizable expense account who, after being over-served, might over-tip with the company credit card. But on most days, you’re serving…
We are proud to announce the arrival of the newest member of the Institute of Drinking Studies: Nathaniel Arthur Osborn. In true Osborn fashion, he is extraordinary in his own way, with his current claim to fame being that he was technically premature yet large for gestational age at seven…
I never imagined that Danny DeVito and I would have anything in common other than our adoration of George Clooney, but after seeing DeVito’s bad behavior on The View recently, I felt a kinship with him that I never expected to experience. “I knew it was the last seven Limoncellos…
Although last week’s melt helped, the overall number of traffic lanes in Denver is down about half from what it was in the summer. Many of the lanes carved out by cars/trucks are now fortified by ice, and driving outside the icy ruts is like taking a train off its…
At the Osborn house, we suffered a near-terminal case of cabin fever over the holidays. Part was imposed by the physical realities of the first blizzard. Another part was induced by the astronomical overreaction of greater Denver to the second storm bearing down on the area. Both were compounded by…
Generally speaking, members of the Institute of Drinking Studies do not espouse shallow thinking and judgment based on superficial qualities. But like all guys, we give the benefit of the doubt to women with large bosoms and/or risqué wardrobes. We also will side with our home team no matter who…
Mama, please let your babies grow up to be cowboys. I’ve always had a thing for cowboys, so I should have known we were in trouble when we sat down in the Cowboy Bar — a temporary saloon that sets up in the Hall of Education basement during every Stock…
In our continuing effort to make the world more amenable to the foibles of drinkers, the Institute of Drinking Studies is preparing a proposal for the National Institute of Health that’s certain to get us a large discretionary grant, since health care today is all about prevention: prevention of heart…
“You’re invited December 31 to the rawest fucking New Year’s Eve party! Leave the expensive hype and boring shit to the amateurs…bounce your ass all over the dance floor.” I’m willing to bet that this is not how Dick Clark envisions a “rockin’ New Year’s Eve.” In fact, the only…
By now you’ve dug out from under the mounds of wrapping paper and leftovers generated over the last few days and are almost ready to return to work so that you can start paying the minimum payments on your credit cards. Sure, Christmas is wonderful, especially for kids, but the…
Islamorada Fish Company 7970 East 49th Avenue 720-385-3600 Last weekend I really needed a change of scenery, but I got stuck working. So a friend and I headed to the Bass Pro Shop — which, while technically still in Denver, might as well be on the moon for most of…
Thank God there are only a few more shopping days until Christmas; I’ve had it with staggering debt. But as long as the malls are going to ruin our credit ratings, they could at least provide a few amenities. For example, they need to do something for us dads waiting…
You’re getting sleepy. There’s nothing more disappointing than loving a restaurant but hating the service — as my recent visit to Snooze so sadly showed. I knew we’d have to wait for a table during Sunday’s prime brunch hours, especially after the eatery appeared on an episode of The Real…
Stupid question, but have you ever just needed a drink? Not wanted one, or felt compelled to have one because it was Friday or Monday morning, or because someone exerted some major peer pressure by calling you a certain female gynecological body part. And not needed physically, either — to…
Like the beer! When I lived in Manhattan, I had a friend named Michael Jackson. Whenever he introduced himself, people would ask: “Where’s your glove?” or “Where’s Bubbles the Chimp?” or “Can you moon-walk?” Local comedian/ sportswriter Sam Adams has taken advantage of his famous name (trust me, people aren’t…
I would like to present the latest Institute of Drinking Studies breakthrough in applied physics: the Bathroom Theory of Relativity. You’re engrossed in a discussion — say, about what to name your friend’s impending child — and finally must sprint to the bathroom because you’ve held and held so that…
When a drag queen starts talking about her inner bitch, you know it’s time for a cocktail. There are other good times for cocktails, of course, but it would be hard to top Tuesday night at Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret, when the hilariously funny “Demented Divas” take the stage at the…
According to the Guy Code, it is not socially acceptable for two guys to split a burger or any other food item when out in a group. This rule is well defined; the only people allowed to share are girls, couples and men who are inclined to split a “salad.”…
With a name like Aphrotini, I was fearful this contender in the T-Zero Signature Drink Contest would contain some weird, curly ingredient. But I quickly learned that the cocktail — concocted by Trilogy bartender Blair Young — referred not to the Afro hairstyle, but to the word “aphrodisiac.” And then…
