Ray Loves Terrorists, Wants To Make Them Pie

I can’t believe that this is twice in a single week that I have to stand up for people or institutions that I can’t stand simply because they are being attacked by people or institutions that I can stand even less. First it was Starbucks, the victim of an attack…

Milking It: Wild Animal Crunch

Wild Animal Crunch Kellogg’s Rating: One and a half spoons out of four Cereal description: The cereal pieces, a mash-up of oat, wheat and corn flour that suggests the manufacturing process used to make plywood, are tan in hue with light brown streaks running through them. Shape-wide, they’re meant to…

King Aldo

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to have the greatest meal of my (relatively) young life at Eric Ripert’s Manhattan restaurant, Le Bernardin. There was me, my buddy East Coast Dave, Dave’s fiancé Nikki from Hawaii, and it was, in a word, absofuckinglutelymindblowinglyawesome. I wrote about said dinner…

Seafood, Eat It

The owners of Prime 121 at 121 Clayton Lane, a spot formerly (and briefly) occupied by Bob’s Steak and Chop House, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization last month. When I reviewed it last fall, I was impressed by the service, not so much by the steak and trimmings. Now…

Slutbucks

I am no fan of Starbucks. Certainly not now that I have had to kick my lifelong coffee habit, but even when I was putting down several pots of coffee a day, it took an event of truly apocalyptic proportion to get me into any of the estimated 4 billion…

Second Act for Mark Tarbell

Almost since the day Mark Tarbell, one of the darlings of the Arizona restaurant scene, opened The Oven in Belmar, there have been rumors that he would soon open a second restaurant in Denver. There have been “Coming Soon” ads, stories about plans and promises. There have been suggestions of…

Cheap Eats: Mustard’s Last Stand

Being vegetarian, I often find that certain decadent and fat-laden food options are generally off limits to me. Sure, you can smother fries in cheese and eat greasy pizza, but giant ½ pound beef burgers and chili dogs are not usually available in tofu/seitan/TVP versions…

Candy Girls: Dietrich’s Chocolate & Espresso

This week, the Candy Girls went out on assignment to Dietrich’s at 1734 East Evans Avenue in the University area. Having heard of the shop’s rich, decadent treats, we had to do a sampling of all of the fresh, homemade chocolates that owner Erich Dietrich makes at his store. Dietrich…

Bono’s Pit Bar-B-Q

I can be bought with an easy smile and a pint of sweet tea. When someone has a grill going in my neighborhood, I will sometimes sit out on my porch just to smell the air. My wife has often told me that I’ve never met a barbecue restaurant I…

Brothers BBQ

There are two distinct kinds of barbecue: Barbecue that tastes like it was cooked by a master, and barbecue that tastes like it was cooked by your Uncle Larry at his annual Fourth of July backyard picnic. Brothers’ barbecue? That’s Uncle Larry through and through. It’s not that the stuff…

Get a ‘Cue, Bono’s

I can be bought for an easy smile and a pint of sweet tea. When someone has their grill going in my neighborhood, I will sometimes sit out on my porch just to smell the air. My wife has often told me that I’ve never met a barbecue restaurant I…

Milking It: Dino S’mores Pebbles

Dino S’mores Pebbles Post Rating: Two spoons out of four Cereal description: No skimping on shapes for this variation on the Pebbles franchise. The main pieces, dubbed “Crunchy Chocolatey Nuggets,” are misshapen brown orbs, not the usual disc-like mini-flakes that most other Pebbles cereals feature. Also included are light-brown “Bone…

Forbidden Fruit

It’s really surprising, the number of food items that are illegal to import into the United States. What’s maybe even more surprising (and no doubt troubling to the food police) is how easy it is for a crafty gastronaut to lay hands on most, if not all, of these proscribed…

Hot Dog! Biker Jim’s Excellent Adventure

Biker Jim Pittenger runs the coolest hot dog cart in the city: Biker Jim’s Gourmet Dogs. A trained journalist and former repo man, ex-resident of the great state of Alaska and proud biker, Jim now makes his living slinging Denver’s best dogs from his Cadillac of carts on the corner…

Candy Girls: Original Peanut Chew

This week we have a special guest commentator, J “I love grandpa candy” Kellermeyer. That’s not really his middle name, but it sure is what we like to call him. J is a connoisseur of all sorts of candy that you probably thought they stopped making in 1953. He’s been…

Sushi Katsuya

I watch the guy behind the counter work the rice, his hands moving with the formality and grace of a Balinese dancer’s, through a series of motions so natural, so ingrained, they are like breathing. “Slow today,” I say, and he nods. “Slow,” he repeats. “Not for lunch. Lunch was…

Osaka Sushi

I’m slowly coming to the realization that the quality of a neighborhood sushi bar can be judged by the number of personalized sake boxes displayed behind the bar. Why? Because the sake box is a mark of dedication — like a gang tattoo or Heidelburg dueling scar — that shows…

Second Chance at a First Impression

The day after my review of Gemelli’s hit the stands, I got this missive from a reader: After reading your excellent review, my friend and I arrived at 11:10 this morning (Fri), drooling over the thought of the shrimp scampi …There was an 8 top that had walked in immediately…

My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard

I love cereal, I love milkshakes. So when Carl’s Jr. introduced their new Cap’n Crunch Milkshake, I was immediately putty in their hands. Or I should say I wanted to be putty. The trouble was twofold: 1) I don’t much frequent Carl’s Jr. and 2) I accidentally caught a glimpse…

A Cut Above

From my spot at the sushi bar, I can’t see outside. The windows are frosted, decorated with pictures of geishas and stalks of bamboo. I can’t hear anything from the outside, either, because they have the radio tuned to some kind of Asian soft-rock station—Tokyo’s version of Kenny G toodling…

The SAME, But Different

Last week, while writing about the resurrection of Pizzeria Mundo (right), I mentioned that new owner Patrick Pool was trying to be nice to the planet and his fellow man by using as much local, organic produce as he could. Since he was heavily involved in Denver Urban Gardens, he…

The Lunch Bunch

The Cherry Creek neighborhood went into mourning when Greg Goldfogel closed Amore last year. (The space it once occupied across from Little Ollie’s s slated to become a Hudson’s steakhouse.) But Goldfogel gave Denver a real consolation prize with Alto Restaurant, the spot he opened in the former home of…