Shmuck

Alert! Take your frog out of the freezer! Earlier this month, the Colorado Division of Wildlife suggested that one of the best ways to deal with frogs not native to Colorado is to euthanize them by putting them alongside your frozen peas and corndogs. “It might sound cruel, but the…

Letters to the Editor

“Boys Will Be Wetboys,” Jared Jacang Maher, May 1 Chairmen of the Board The funny thing about a boy with a skateboard is that you can do what you will with it. If it makes you get some rad trick that no one has done, you would be satisfied —…

Night Moves

Someone in Denver is throwing a Pajama Party, and Westword’s been invited. It started two months ago, when staff writer Joel Warner discovered a mysterious handwritten letter hidden at the bottom of a deposit-envelope receptacle at a downtown Wells Fargo ATM. The unsigned note requested that whoever found it draw…

Tale of a Daily Newspaper Odd Couple

The recent announcement that the Colorado Daily will abandon its headquarters at 2610 Pearl Street in Boulder in order to share space with the Boulder Daily Camera hardly caused an uproar among locals. Just three readers posted comments on a Camera article about the change — and only one saw…

Hatchet Job

Last week, I took a walk in a juggalo’s shoes — or at least his T-shirt. Juggalos may be hated the world over, but nowhere do they feel less welcome than at Colorado Mills. Although juggalos can buy shirts and hoodies and jerseys with the red Hatchetman logo of Insane…

Mary Starkey Is Arrested. Again.

Mary Louise Starkey, head of the prominent Denver-based butler school Starkey International Institute of Household Management, was arrested yesterday for domestic violence. The incident is the latest in a string of recent embarrassments for Starkey, 59, the city’s so-called “First Lady of Service.” As reported in the Westword story “At…

Denver Unveils its Free Bike Program for the DNC

At 2 p.m. today, the Denver 2008 Convention Host Committee was scheduled to officially unveil its “Freewheelin” bike-sharing program, in which 1,000 bikes will be distributed around the streets of Denver to be freely used by visitors and the public during the Democratic National Convention, August 25-28. Local luminaries are…

The Long Way Down: Clinton Trounces Obama

With hindsight being 20/20, the minute after Barack Obama finished his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston, Hillary Clinton should have been on the phone to party leaders in West Virginia, setting the wheels in motion to allow the state to move its primary up in…

Tom Tancredo’s CU Job Application

As detailed in a More Messages blog, University of Colorado Boulder Chancellor G.P. “Bud” Peterson is spearheading a long-term project (estimated price tag: $9 million) to bring more conservative professors to the famously liberal institution. Well, at least one high-profile aspirant is ready, willing and able to share his rightward…

The Last Gasp

This afternoon, the office of Congresswoman Diana DeGette, vice-chair of the Committee on Energy and Commerce, sent out a release noting that she was supporting legislation to suspend the filling of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve through the end of the year, which the House will vote on tonight: “Congress is…

Five Worst Belated Mother’s Day Gifts

It’s still not too late to get Mom a belated something special. From experience, she probably expects too little too late as a matter of course. So, in order to make for your perpetual tardiness, you’re looking for something beyond the usual brunch out, card and flowers, all the stuff…

CNN and its Magic Board

There’s a lot of wizardry at CNN these days. There’s Wolf Blitzer and his enchanted beard. There’s Andersen Cooper and the mystical way he made everyone forget that he was ever the host of a reality show. And then there’s John King and his magic board of election elucidation. The…

RedBlueAmerica.com Lowered to Half Mast

The May 10 column by Rocky Mountain News editor/publisher/president John Temple focused largely on a speech he gave to graduates of the University of Colorado Boulder’s School of Journalism and Mass Communications. But in the midst of anecdotes and observances about the address, he casually mentioned that RedBlueAmerica.com, a project…

KHOW Magazine Headed to a Mailbox Near You

As media outlets everywhere are increasing their new-media presence, KHOW radio, at 630 AM, revisits the old school via a direct mail magazine that’s scheduled to start arriving at metro-area addresses on May 14. The cover boy on the mag’s inaugural issue is Tom Martino, who’s been down this road…

Delegating Denver #43 of 56: Puerto Rico

View larger image Puerto Rico Total Number of Delegates: 63 Pledged: 55 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a Puerto Rico Delegate: Puerto Rico probably should have dumped America a long time ago, but like all sexy long-distance relationships, there have been “benefits” for both parties. Not that it has been…

Mystery of the Missing Horse

With our Wild West tradition, it’s not surprising that horses play such a big role in the public art around here, an interest that underscores our worldwide image long ago established by old Hollywood Westerns. But surprisingly, this local taste for art about horses is not limited to historic pieces…

Denver Radio Veteran Gus Mircos Dies

All too often, the passing of a radio veteran goes unremarked upon by stations where the personality previously worked. So give KOA credit for tipping its hat to the cranky yet widely beloved Gus Mircos, who died on May 11 at age seventy. Reporter Jerry Bell, who’s been with the…

Photos from Hearse Con 2008

Slide show by Aaron Thackeray It’s truly inspiring to see a group of people so (seemingly) obsessed with death living their lives more fully than your average couch potato. The ambition and dedication it takes to restore, recraft and maintain these classic deathmobiles is remarkable. Here are some scenes from…

Bare Asses at the Crack of Dawn on Channel 9

The May 12 edition of the Channel 9 morning news show dealt with the naked truth in more ways than one. As anchor Gary Shapiro reported about a May 11 photo shoot at an Austrian soccer stadium featuring approximately 1,800 individuals posing nude, control-room personnel rolled footage illustrating his words…