The vast majority of American men have nothing more in common with major-league baseball players than an occasional hangnail and the right to a jury trial. Most of us couldn’t hit a beach ball thrown by an eight-year-old, much less Randy Johnson’s heater, and whenever we execute the hit-and-run, there’s…
This Property Is Condemned Waste-watchers: Douglas Bruce is my hero! He should run for governor of Colorado. Alan Prendergast’s “Vendetta,” in the May 16 issue, was a perfect example of useless, blood-sucking government bureaucrats (about half of the government’s employees), so-called public servants who really have nothing better to do…
Bastards. Idiots. Liars. Crooks. Bastard idiot lying crooks. Douglas Bruce doesn’t mince words. Charm and cajolery are not his strong suits. The state’s foremost anti-tax activist has been known to accuse state legislators of being both exceedingly greedy and hopelessly stupid, to question their sanity as well as their honesty,…
The battle to overhaul Colorado’s civil forfeiture law provided a few sparks in an otherwise dull legislative session. It was a classic clash of principles, pitting law-and-order types who view forfeiture as a powerful weapon in the war on drugs against defenders of constitutional rights and the sanctity of private…
Ever since abandoned warehouses in lower downtown were transformed into livable lofts and the addition of Coors Field ushered in restaurants and bars, the area has become a fashionable neighborhood. There are the young professionals who like walking home after happy hour and the empty-nesters who’ve given up their suburban…
Kim Clark is one of five American women on the first all-women climbing team to attempt Mount Everest. A former Keystone ski bum who is now a junior at the University of Colorado’s school of nursing, the 35-year-old Clark is the youngest woman on the expedition, which first arrived at…
A 22-year legal battle came to an abrupt end last week when the Church of Scientology paid $8.67 million to one of its harshest critics: a former member who claimed the church had harassed him for years and driven him “to the brink of insanity.” The settlement between the church’s…
Members of the West 29th Avenue Neighborhood Association, who objected to a recent United States Postal Service plan to change their zip code (“Stripped of a Zip,” March 7), credit U.S. Representative Diana DeGette with accomplishing in the nation’s capital what they couldn’t do here: getting postal officials to withdraw…
The last group of students who were at Columbine High School during the April 1999 massacre will graduate on May 18 at Fiddler’s Green Amphitheater, but you won’t be able to watch the ceremonies on TV — if, for some reason, you even wanted to. According to a statement issued…
Daily newspapering in Denver has been on a bumpy ride for the past several years, with many of the jolts coming courtesy of the joint operating agreement between the Rocky Mountain News and the Denver Post. But despite changes in publishing schedules, format and behind-the-scenes matters, the most prominent faces…
“This is Howler,” Miles says. “He’s gonna ride down with us. Dinger’s got a game today, but Rocky will be there.” We head south in the Miles Mobile. The 2002 GMC Van — donated by John Elway, natch — is brightly painted, festooned with advertising. Pictures of an aggressive but…
A Churl in Every Deport True Brit: Regarding Jonathan Shikes’s “British Invasion,” in the May 9 issue: Nick Williams acted, as we Brits like to say, like a “complete and utter wanker.” Pot? He’s an idiot. Pot and guns? A fucking idiot. There isn’t a legal resident in this country…
Before Chris Todd even started school, his mom knew there’d be trouble. The signs were all there. He was more rambunctious and aggressive than most boys his age, and he climbed on every piece of furniture in the house. In preschool, he constantly vied for his teacher’s attention by trying…
It’s not a good time to be an immigrant with a felony conviction. Just ask Nick Williams, a British citizen and respected music-industry veteran who’s been living in Denver for years. Better yet, ask his lawyer: It’s a little hard reaching Williams himself, since he’s locked up in an Immigration…
Two days into the International Chamber of Commerce 34th World Congress, downtown Denver’s streets were quiet — proving once again that this is a town that only riots over sporting events. “Hey, I just saw an actual person go by,” said Jim Sprinkle, looking out on the 16th Street Mall…
“Have you ever heard of Enya?” my dentist asks. “Hate her,” I say. “Yeah, but several patients suggested her.” To prove his point, he produces a sticky note with ENYA written on it. This is all part of Larry Gabler’s highly democratic background-music selection process. Seven years ago, having abandoned…
A reminder, folks: The Denver Post came out ahead in last year’s joint operating agreement. Unlike the Rocky Mountain News, whose status as a failing newspaper was ratified by the U.S. Justice Department, the Post reportedly turned a profit over the past decade — and thanks to the JOA, it…
Newsy Lalonde wouldn’t like it. Neither would Mud Bruneteau. Nor Odie Cleghorn. The Colorado Avalanche has once more shoved its bloody but proud face into the middle of the National Hockey League playoff picture, and so have teams from such distinctly non-Canadian, well-above-zero climes as San Jose, California, and St…
Between a Rocky and a Hard Place The minor league: Patricia Calhoun’s May 2 column, “The Usual Suspects” was right on target. Only two quibbles: She neglected to mention all the hype and hysteria over The Lion King, which certainly proved her point. She also neglected to mention that in…
It’s midnight in Denver, and Kid Rock the pimp is checking his traps. Cruising down East Colfax Avenue, he keeps one eye on the three pagers clipped to his alligator-skin belt and the other on the sidewalk traffic scrolling past the tinted windows of his metallic-gold Lincoln Continental. As always,…
In the digital age, it’s a simple matter for a police agency to record incoming calls for help. Every 911 call, from the most trivial to the most urgent — say, a call from a frantic cafeteria worker at a local high school reporting gunfire and three victims down –…
The public library, unlike many other limbs of government, is built upon a nearly perfect system. Libraries have the blissful and unique distinction of being the only places on earth where individuals are invited to select whatever items they fancy and take them home — for free. Proletariat to the…
