Want to know how to talk a girl out of her shorts? Here’s some advice from our favorite pitchman, Kid Rock (aka Bob Ritchie), who tells all in the March issue of Blender, the Maxim spinoff: “Have a big…bank account. And a lot of liquor! That’s why I drink all…
Rich Tosches has every right to be depressed. Last fall, his nine-year run as the Colorado Springs Gazette’s most popular and controversial columnist came to an abrupt halt, motivating him to jump to the Rocky Mountain News in January. Too bad the Rocky position didn’t work out, either, and he…
There’s no radio. Mother Nature provides the air conditioning. If you’re 6′ 3″, forget it. Houdini would have trouble squirming in and out of the thing. Wind this tiny, bug-eyed British beast up to 105 miles per hour or so, and it starts ripping and crashing into the oncoming air…
Love and Loss Collision course: As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I wanted to send a brief letter thanking you for Julie Jargon’s story on Shawna Rush, “Running Scared,” in the February 5 issue. I grew up in Fort Lupton, where the Rush family lived briefly, and…
Tracy Rollert thought it would be fun — roaming around an abandoned old school with her boyfriend, Jim, maybe making love to him in an empty classroom. A neighbor who saw them climb the chain-link fence surrounding the property yelled at them to be careful. Instead, the fearless 36-year-old removed…
Three years ago, a Newmont Mining Co. truck spilled almost 300 pounds of mercury at Yanacocha, Latin America’s largest gold mine, located just north of Cajamarca, Peru. Last year, the Environmental Protection Agency listed the company as one of five top chemical polluters in the United States. Now the Colorado-based…
1. As the heat increases at CU for the school’s allegedly rape-inducing 2001 recruiting session, Big Buff Gary Barnett denied wrongdoing on The Fan radio show with all but which of these? A. “Fire me, fire everybody, if we’ve done any of this stuff.” B. “We do not break rules…
Nothin’ says lovin’ like something from the oven, so if this Valentine’s Day requires more than flowers and chocolates, stop by Le Bakery Sensual for a pair of Janet Jackson’s breasts. Capitalizing on Jackson’s very public Super Bowl breast-baring, the confectionery that specializes in sexy, penis-shaped cakes, among other treats,…
Words are the building blocks of journalism, and misplacing even one of them can cause the entire superstructure to collapse. The Denver Post found this out the nasty way during the past several weeks, when separate words led to significant errors in a pair of page-one, above-the-fold stories, about President…
Just minutes before the kickoff of Super Bowl XXXVIII, John decides to fill up his plate with Swedish meatballs and cold cuts at a game-day party in an Aurora home. “Sorry,” he murmurs as he cuts in front of the TV screen, intruding on everyone’s field of vision. John is…
What Would Jesus Do? He’d raise a glass: Regarding Marty Jones’s “Salvation by the Glass,” in the February 5 issue: A thousand blessings on such a cool church! Jesus always hung out with the “disreputable” people when he was on Earth — I think he’d fit right in with this…
Shawna Rush was a small-town girl who was taught to respect other people, to mind her elders and to give selflessly. Growing up, she and her three sisters ate supper with their parents, Roy and Johnanna Rush, every night that they didn’t have basketball or volleyball practice. They went to…
There are three reasons why many people don’t go to church: The sermons are often dull, the music’s usually antique, and you can’t drink beer there. But Church at the Bar atones for all these sins. For the past six months, Church at the Bar — presented by the local…
1. Regardless of what happens with his sexual-assault case, Kobe Bryant has already suffered this punishment: A. Loss of Shaq’s friendship. B. Hair loss. C. Loss of a multimillion-dollar McDonald’s burger-chompin’ campaign. D. Loss of a cameo role in Lost in Translation. 2. Jeffrey Shapiro, the former tabloid journalist who…
Many of the changes that have taken place in this country since 9/11, including color-coded terror-alert warnings, Toby Keith’s record-sales spike and the growing popularity of Saddam Hussein lice-inspection footage, are obvious and up front. But other alterations linger in the shadows, known only to those they directly affect. Such…
For someone who has two Super Bowl rings and his own football team and who fronts seventeen car dealerships, John Elway is a pretty modest guy. All right, so maybe the activity the Colorado Crush labors at is not really football, but you get the idea. Elway is not the…
Spam on Wry Spam I am: Regarding Alan Prendergast’s “Mr. Spam Man,” in the January 29 issue, and with a tip of the hat to naughty language and apologies to Dr. Seuss: My ISP is clogged and crammed With tons of Mr. Richter’s spam. The latest diet pill and porn,…
FWD: SCOTT, DON’T SUFFER BETWEEN PAYCHECKS! THINK BIG! In Scott Richter’s world, size matters. Richter knows that Americans like things big. Bigger penis, bigger breasts. Big savings. Big chance to win big. Think big about the bigness people crave, and big profits could be yours. Richter is a big fellow…
A year after Westword broke the story of the biggest scandal in Air Force Academy history, the school’s new leaders are working tirelessly to implement programs and alter a climate that’s been described as hostile toward women. In fact, they hope that one day the academy will be regarded as…
Women who say they were raped by fellow cadets at the United States Air Force Academy will finally get a chance to tell their stories directly to the people most able to help them: the Senate Armed Services Committee. Jessica Brakey, a cadet who was kicked out of the academy…
1. Colorado is looming large in the national elections. What connection ties Democratic revive-nik John Kerry to the Centennial State? A. He owns a ski chalet at Sol Vista. B. He attended Regis University the year before Bill Murray did. C. He was born here. D. He was stationed at…
Off Limits got called to the principal’s office Tuesday morning. To talk about vaginas. Patti Bippus, principal at the Denver School of the Arts, had refused to talk over the phone about the students performing Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues for their senior project, insisting instead that we come over to…
